


Love Quote

by Camelabrakedabra



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:15:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22757629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Camelabrakedabra/pseuds/Camelabrakedabra
Summary: The app was ridiculous, Soonyoung thought.An app that claimed to show you the first words your soulmate would say to you when you first talk. All you had to do was hand over details that would inevitably lead to credit fraud to a mysterious company who had never published an app before.But then again, for a guy who wasn't so lucky in relationships, perhaps it would get him somewhere at least.(Multiship but pairings to come!)
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

Soonyoung didn't believe in that "Love Quote" app at all. At least, he didn't in the beginning.

It seemed too good to be true. "Enter your full name, date of birth, and your postcode! We'll tell you the first words your soulmate will say to you!" It seemed fishy. That was the sort of information that would allow someone to commit credit fraud under someone else's name, or for a serial killer to hunt down their next victims. But naturally, it caused a lot of hype. That much was obviously going to happen. It was much like the app that claimed to be able to detect whether someone had been within infection radius of someone with the common cold back when he started high school. Ridiculous.

But then again, the app had received an awful lot of reviews for a reason. The first few hundred could have easily been created by bots. That was the most likely answer since it _was_ a mysterious app by an unknown publisher and all. But then again, some of the students in his _school_ were claiming that it was right. That it stated the exact way they came to meet their current partner, and research had _said_ most people either dated their high school or university sweetheart. Unless their old phones were tracking the conversations they'd had with people and those conversations were following them for years, it was unlikely that anyone would be able to guess those sorts of things. Soonyoung had overheard a girl telling her friends about it, and it was actually rather interesting to hear how it was so specific. Apparently, her app had said, "Okay, I'll have a chat with her about it after English later," whereas her boyfriend's app had shown, "I've been sent over to let you know that Jiwoo has a huge crush on you and she really wants you to be her boyfriend." That was a conversation they'd had in their first year of high school, in which the girl's cousin had had a crush on the guy, had ultimately broken his heart, and then they'd gotten together a few months later.

Likewise, one guy had started panicking because his first words with his girlfriend had turned up on _her_ app but not _his_. He had tried to convince himself for a good week that it was right and that was what she'd said to him, but he knew for sure that she'd said something else entirely. Besides, it didn't even make _sense_ in the context. He'd asked her for the time and she had told him that there was a clock on the wall. She _hadn't_ asked for "it" back. Whatever "it" was. But he'd found out shortly after, of course. Soonyoung knew that because they were in the same history class. The new girl who sat next to him - who was known for being very cold towards people - had given him a pencil to use and demanded that he gave it back afterwards. The guy bolted upright. She noticed the look on his face and froze up. They shared a knowing look and the rest of the class immediately understood what had happened. Sure enough, the guy's girlfriend found out shortly afterwards and she had finished things very quickly.

It almost wasn't enough to convince Soonyoung that it was true. Some of them were very vague, whereas others were very specific. Hit or miss. And it seemed that usually, the specific ones were assigned to the popular students, so it could have been linked to the things they wrote on their Twitter, Instagram and Facebook accounts. So he ended up downloading the app, just to prove that it was rubbish. He didn't really have many friends to discuss it with, but he supposed that his Tumblr followers would find it hilarious to see how weird the app was. After all, it sounded like something from a fanfic. Or Black Mirror. One of the two. He could even imagine writing it as a self-insert SHINee fic for his followers. Should it go downhill, he decided, that was what he was going to do with the insight he'd had into the app. After all, lots of his followers were from America and it hadn't made it outside of Korea at that point.

His own quote was absolute garbage anyway, so he was convinced that it wasn't going to make it there in the first place. "Do you want this, or should I throw it away for you?" It was something that didn't come with context, as many of those messages didn't. It could be someone offering to help him with his tray at a fast-food restaurant. It could be a cashier offering to throw his receipt away. It could have even been a joke about something, although Soonyoung struggled to come up with an exact example of the sort of joke it could be. How could he fall in love with someone over that? It seemed like a huge stretch, if not impossible, to build a connection with someone over that phrase.

But then it happened, and Soonyoung couldn't really do much about it. He'd heard those words properly after he'd blurted out his reply, and then he'd seen the recognition on the guy's face and he'd realised right away.

It was one way to find out that he was gay, though. A bit of an uncomfortable way, granted, but it was something that made things easier. At least he didn't need to spend his time trying to figure out what his identity was along the way. And apparently the guy had faced the same sort of situation. He looked absolutely distraught when they made eye contact, and he'd thrust the book straight into Soonyoung's hands before running away. There was fear in his eyes and that was understandable. It was a joke about their course book being trash, and yet it had led them to recognise the familiarity in the words. They shared classes but they didn't know each other. And whilst social levels weren't the most important boundary in their school, Soonyoung still had to acknowledge the fact that he was a complete loner who drifted between friendship groups, whilst his soulmate was one of the most popular and well-liked students in their grade, for genuine reasons.

And yet, it left Soonyoung in a position where he couldn't sleep until he'd gotten it off his mind. He'd never even considered how it would feel to meet someone and feel an instant connection with them, but this was it. Not the app's fault, of course - they had fallen for each other when their fingers brushed - but that instant feeling of _adoration_ when Soonyoung held his gaze for five solid seconds was a completely new experience. It inevitably led to him to writing a letter to the guy. He'd never really spoken to him before, but he owed him a proper explanation of his feelings about the situation and the fact that he'd suddenly fallen in love, and that he hoped he would feel the same way. And a note about how it wasn't the app's fault that they fell in love - it just happened.

"Dear Choi Seungcheol," he wrote. That was it for at least half an hour whilst he tried to come up with something to say. They both knew what was happening so there was no point in going over that again. It was only going to make things awkward and uncomfortable for both of them. But he had to come up with _something_. Even an ugly-sounding, weird something that could eventually be erased and replaced with something that was worth his soulmate's time. His mind was blank as he began to scrawl down words that could make sense if someone really tried to piece it all together.

"You probably don't receive as many handwritten letters like this. You probably receive more spam mail to your email address than you receive letters from people like this. I'm sure you're going to walk into school completely oblivious of our fate, but this is where it takes a turn.

You see, I've been checking that new app. The one that's supposed to tell you the first thing that your soulmate says to you. And I know you have, too. I saw your friend getting frustrated in the lunch queue as he read the message out on his screen. '"How about you go and die?" What sort of person must my soulmate be if she's saying that to me?' I watched as you insisted that you didn't have the app and you weren't interested. It was a fad and it couldn't possibly be true, so you weren't going to stress yourself out over it. After all, how could it predict such things about a person? But then again, I snuck a glance at you during biology the other day and I saw you playing with your phone. And on the screen, I could see the app. It's a soft blue colour, which stuck out like a sore thumb against your black phone background. Don't worry about it, I felt the same way about it.

Then again, I didn't think too much of it until yesterday. What happened between us has gone unaddressed but I saw it in your eyes too. Yesterday marks the first time we've ever spoken to each other directly, you know. You've presented projects in class, and I've heard you speaking to other people before, but it's never been directed at me specifically. That only clicked when you said those words and then I said those words, and I watched as your eyes lit up for a second. You know exactly what I mean, and I don't have to explain this any further.

Anyway, I just want you to know that if you want to talk about anything at all, you should send me a text. My phone number is 070-XXXX-XXXX."

Okay, so it didn't _quite_ say what he wanted it to say, but heck - he was seventeen years old and a complete fool who had no experience in relationships and had apparently experienced love at first sight with a guy because a stupid little app had told him that they were meant to be together. And as much as he said he hated it, it gave him a little tingle of excitement knowing that hey, someone would fall in love with him soon.

Soonyoung's heart was in his throat as he read his letter one more time the following morning, then he carefully folded over the creased lines again and slid it into the envelope. That was going to be his last chance to revise it, he decided. And that was, unfortunately, going to be a hard pass for him after over forty draft letters on his laptop, several failed copies were written on paper along the way, and a personal crisis at five o'clock in the morning when he still hadn't slept. No, it was going on Choi Seungcheol's desk and that was going to be that. So he sealed it and made his way into the classroom with an air of confidence about him until he saw his classmate already sat in his seat with both headphones in and his eyes glued to his phone.

Bam. Soonyoung hadn't realised how beautiful his peer looked until he was put into that position. With double eyelids and such perfectly shaped lips, he was the cause of a lot of jealousy. And yet, Soonyoung - a boy who considered himself to be average all over, at an absolute best - got to be _that guy's_ soulmate. It was an odd sort of situation. One day, they were peers who had never really exchanged more than a passing glance with each other, but then it had all changed in one night. A dropped book down the staircase and a sort-of stranger who was kind enough to do anything for anyone. Brushed fingertips and those fateful words. Soonyoung had never considered that his soulmate would be someone he already knew but then again, he was rather glad. He knew what Seungcheol was like and he knew that the guy had a gentle heart. It was funny how something as silly as an app had completely changed his feelings towards another person in such a short amount of time. When he saw Seungcheol just there, his heart began to beat harder, as if he'd built himself up to it too quickly and his body was resisting. And yet--

\--The confidence drained straight out of his body once they were in the room together. It was the worst feeling Soonyoung had ever felt in his life. Every step towards his soulmate made it feel as if he was stamping on nails, and his joints were moving mechanically as if he was some sort of doll. Then he near enough tossed the letter in his classmate's direction and immediately walked away, not really caring for the awkward response that was inevitably going to follow. Part of him wished that he would have just left it for a time when Seungcheol wasn't going to be there, but then again, he knew that he would never get around to it if he followed that logic. They would forever be stuck in a position where they didn't know how to be around each other and that was going to be absolutely terrible. So it was done and that was that. No more toying with it or trying to replace something that didn't sound exactly like what he'd thought up in his head, and none of the nonsense that usually came whenever he was around someone he liked. It was embarrassing when that happened. He would stammer and stutter and blurt out some random garbage that would make them uncomfortable, and it would be the end for him.

The good part, though, was that Seungcheol was unlikely to completely reject him if he did that since they _were_ meant to be together and all, but it was going to be bad for both of them if the letter _was_ that bad that he ended up rejecting him. That was what Soonyoung kept in his mind throughout the whole lesson - after he'd inevitably stormed out of the classroom, hid in the music room for almost an hour, and then turned back up to the classroom just before they were due to start class. He was sat near the front and Seungcheol was sat at the back, and that was the one thing that made him feel safe about his decision. So long as he focused on the teacher, they weren't going to make eye contact. They weren't going to do group work together, they weren't going to have to talk to each other, and they were going to be absolutely fine.

Of course, they barely made it out of the class before he got a text.

"Are you avoiding me already?" it demanded. Soonyoung couldn't quite tell the tone as well as he hoped, but it made his heart sink into his chest. "We need to talk about this as soon as possible. Will you meet me at lunch? I'll be by the toilets by the science block." It was a bit of a weird text to read, but he supposed he appreciated it. After all, it made things a lot easier than it could have been. He hoped that Seungcheol wasn't as angry with him as the text had made him out to be, but it was something that would have to wait for three more periods.

Time dragged all the way through to that point, as it often did when something important was due to happen. That wasn't to say that Soonyoung was excited to meet Seungcheol because he absolutely wasn't, but that didn't mean that time was going to go any quicker. Regret was just as much an issue for him as excitement was. And so he was faced with the exact same situation as he'd had when he gave the letter over in the first place. He could feel his legs working as if he was some sort of robot who was physically incapable of walking around, and he had a weird sense that his bones were going to snap if he walked too fast. It only got worse when he saw Seungcheol standing there, naturally, and he absolutely hated that knowledge. Part of him wanted to turn and run. The other part knew full well that it was neither likely to happen nor physically possible. He kept moving his legs forward, one step at a time until they were stood together, and then Seungcheol let out a long breath. It seemed as if he was just as nervous about it all.

"Can I see your app?" he asked. Soonyoung nodded as he scrambled to grab his phone. His fingers were trembling slightly as he punched in his password, and it ended up taking four attempts for him to be able to unlock it when he was feeling that anxious. But once he had it, he found that turning his phone around was easier and he simply watched as Seungcheol's eyes scanned over the words on the screen. Exactly as he'd said it, the words illuminated the screen and burned each character into Seungcheol's mind. He let out a little hum of understanding as he turned his own phone around. And clear as day, Soonyoung's first words to him were right there too. It was something that he was going to remember for the rest of his life, obviously. That situation. Of course, there was the chance that it was a coincidence or something, but part of him genuinely hoped that it was true. That he'd found a caring boyfriend and that boyfriend was his whilst they were still in highschool and they were going to have a great future together.

Seungcheol seemed a lot more relaxed after they'd shared those words. Soonyoung could see that from the way that he held himself and straightened out his blazer once his phone was stuffed back into his pocket. Then they made eye contact again although that time, it was held for a lot longer. "I guess I just didn't expect that I'd have another guy as my soulmate," Seungcheol said softly. "I know you don't really know me so this is a bit weird to say, but I'd always had this dream of having a wife and kids. And now... well, I guess I'd better start reimagining it."

Soonyoung had the sense that he was disappointed but had probably spent the rest of the night, following the incident, reconsidering everything he thought he knew. He had a sense that Seungcheol didn't _mean_ to sound upset about it, but he was in a position where he had to simply accept it. And he wanted to make the most out of it now that he knew that it wasn't just a coincidence that he'd heard those words. It was something that he was going to embrace fully. Soonyoung could tell that from his face and the way that he took in one more breath before letting it out right away, making it much shorter than the first time that he'd released the breath whilst stood in front of Soonyoung like that. And then he took in a much sharper breath as he spoke.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.  
"What?" Seungcheol's cheeks flushed scarlet right away. Apparently, he hadn't expected that response at all, and Soonyoung was left quickly stammering out an apology for answering his question so quickly and without thinking. "I didn't have enough time to process it!" he shouted louder than he needed to do so. Seungcheol tried his hardest to hide how mortified he was feeling but it was clear that he couldn't really help himself. Instead, he said that it was fine and they could wait until they were further into their relationship. He'd just figured that it was the right foot to start on since he was trying so hard to come to terms that he was at least bisexual and at most gay.

It led to an awkward back-and-forth for a moment, in which Soonyoung tried to calm him down and Seungcheol stammered out that it wasn't as big of a deal as he'd made it sound and actually, it was probably for the best that they _didn't_ kiss. Then Soonyoung grabbed for his hands, trying his hardest to ignore the fact that his own palms were sweating profusely, and he insisted that he wanted to be kissed.

Seungcheol had simply gone for it after that. He had decided not to think about it anymore, and he's pressed a hand to the back of Soonyoung's head as he crushed their lips together. It was a lot harder than Soonyoung imagined his first kiss being - and significantly less romantic, for that matter - but he immediately felt little butterflies in his chest. It was the feeling of novelty; of his first kiss being given and the implications making his very core feel as if it was being cared for by every angel that had ever existed in every text that implied their existence. It felt as if his head was spinning and his ears had popped, and then Seungcheol had let his tongue graze Soonyoung's bottom lip and it left him instantly feeling as if he was going to pass out.

That was the last thing he expected to happen. In an instant, Soonyoung went from a guy who had a crush on someone solely because they happened to say the words that the garbage app had said, to someone who was absolutely convinced that Seungcheol was going to be his husband once they graduated from university. The stars aligned and his knees were weak, and he admittedly felt himself starting to get woozy and disorientated after they'd parted.

He had instantly fallen in love and no one could tell him otherwise.

They parted shortly after, naturally. Seungcheol went to get lunch with his friends and Soonyoung insisted that he was going to stay there for a moment so that he would be able to take care of the fact that his legs had stopped working. He was conscious that if he tried to take a step, he would end up eating dirt immediately and that would have been an awful impression for the guy he assumed was his new boyfriend.

It was weird how it worked out like that, funnily enough. His first love, first kiss and first boyfriend, all in one go. He hadn't even _hugged_ another guy with romantic intentions before, and yet he'd had his tongue in Seungcheol's mouth and Seungcheol's tongue in _his_ mouth. And it had been completely welcome. There was absolutely nothing about the encounter that _wasn't _welcome, even though he'd almost screwed it up for himself by speaking too quickly and embarrassing his new boyfriend before they'd even had the chance to get used to each other. And did he mention? His legs almost gave out because he was so swayed by the fact that he was already kissing his soulmate like that? And the fact that Seungcheol had gazed at him with genuine adoration in his eyes? And the fact that he swore he'd seen his dying day behind his eyelids once they made contact like that?__

__Admittedly, his thoughts were an incoherent scramble of images, even when he was able to walk again and made his way to the dining hall to get his lunch. He'd sat down with his sandwich and box drink and considered life for a few minutes whilst he tried to figure out how the hell he was going to move forward with it, but then Seungcheol had turned up at his table - as if they hadn't just parted - and he insisted right away that Soonyoung join their table for the rest of lunch. His friends were waiting patiently, staring at them from across the room, and so Soonyoung had followed him right over before taking a seat._ _

__It was embarrassing to be sat there with them so soon after they'd realised that they were meant to be together, but Soonyoung guessed that it was the only way to truly be a part of his life. Besides, Seungcheol's friends didn't even comment on it. He was part of a big group of around sixteen guys and they were all very chatty, and every single topic that Soonyoung could have imagined ended up appearing during that short break period. They discussed everything from their classes to the sports and video games that they liked, and then they moved on to hobbies and travel and recycling and projects and crafts and sleep schedules and nutrition and, well... it felt like home._ _

__Soonyoung felt _comfortable_. He liked the fact that they'd accepted him so readily, and he liked the fact that Seungcheol was already taking a careful note of what he had to say. It was probably an attempt to find out more about him, Soonyoung figured, but he didn't really mind. After all, they were going to have to do that at some point anyway._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmm yeah so I should be uhhhh not coming up with new fics when I'm busy trying to keep my pathetic flesh vessel alive, but here we are. Judge me if you want but I should've been home four days ago and I'm majorly BUMMED, even though my boss felt sorry for me and mailed me a load of snacks. So you cool lot are getting a fic and it's in my to-do list to update regularly, esp since it's peak "loving Soonyoung" hours (it be like that sometimes). Be ready for some emotional rollercoasters because I'm not here to play haha
> 
> Thank you for your continued support! <3 Camel


	2. Chapter 2

It inevitably came as no surprise to Soonyoung that his feelings for Seungcheol began to change as soon as the honeymoon phase was over.

It was a bit of an uncomfortable situation, really. For a while, everything was great. They'd ended up spending every day together and Seungcheol quickly seemed to be getting way more confident with their relationship than Soonyoung could have possibly imagined. They'd ended up being followed by some girls from their year soon after it had come out that they were in a relationship, and those girls had insisted that they needed to kiss to prove their relationship. "I can't believe that Choi Seungcheol would have a _boy_ as his soulmate," one whined as they trailed close behind the couple.  
"I don't believe that they actually have feelings for each other," another one added. Seungcheol had shown them the matching love quotes on their phones but it still hadn't been enough and so he'd pulled Soonyoung close and kissed him hard on the mouth in front of them.

Soonyoung still got the butterflies when they kissed, although it was mixed in with anxiety when they kissed in front of other people. He couldn't bring himself to reject those kisses, but it felt somewhat wrong to be showing it off like that. And he could really tell that his boyfriend was going through the same sort of thing. He could see worry behind the confidence that Seungcheol was showing off, and he couldn't help but feel bad for the guy. It was a lot for him to take in at once, whereas Soonyoung had at least not really had any solid love interests beforehand to make him genuinely believe that he was completely straight. Having people go over to them so often was only really serving to solidify those feelings, and yet Seungcheol was the sort of person who got way too worked up to talk about that sort of thing, which meant that he was probably internalising it. Soonyoung knew that feeling well. It was something he'd had to work himself away from doing, and it had taken an awfully long time, meaning that Seungcheol was probably going to end up having problems for quite a while longer.

Ultimately, it all came to a head when Soonyoung had gone over to Seungcheol's place one evening. That was their usual place to hang out, since neither of their parents particularly liked the idea of them walking around the streets together after school, even if they _were_ in a group. But it was a bit of a risky game for them to go to either person's house. It was still very much a secret from their parents, especially since Soonyoung didn't really like to talk about relationships with his family and Seungcheol always got uncomfortable with talking about feelings in front of his mother - whom he said was a bit of a hard-head even though she meant well. Their front was video games, which they would usually play out loud from YouTube recordings so that they would have time to talk instead. Thankfully, Seungcheol's mother respected his privacy enough to not bother coming up to the room, except for shouting through that it was time for dinner. The same couldn't be said about Soonyoung's parents nor his sister, and so they tried to avoid his place as much as possible in hopes of avoiding the near-misses that they'd had almost every time they went there.

On that particular day, though, they had started out in silence as they were both painfully aware of a weird aura between them. Soonyoung couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it had started right at the beginning of the day and had continued all the way through to the end. It was a subtle sort of aura that felt as if it was nipping at his stomach, but not so much that it stopped him from paying attention in class. He hadn't really expected Seungcheol to invite him over, considering that it had been like that all day, but then Seungcheol had blurted it out with such desperation that Soonyoung felt it was only right to go along. And so they were left still basking in the effects of that aura for a good five or so minutes until Seungcheol finally grabbed for his hand and held it tightly, his eyes still on his lap the whole time. Soonyoung noticed how his face had completely drained of colour and his hand was clammy, but he didn't really know how to comfort him. So he stayed like that until Seungcheol's lips parted ever so slightly and he grumbled out a suggestion that knocked the breath out of Soonyoung for a moment.

Admittedly, sex hadn't been on the table that morning. It probably wouldn't have been on the table that month either, and they could have probably made it to the year mark without the topic even coming up if it wasn't for Seungcheol's sudden burst of confidence. It wasn't something that Soonyoung had thought about since they'd started dating, even though it was something that a lot of their peers were clearly doing. The app was working magic in that sense. It was suggesting to people that they would be together for the rest of their lives and so they were taking the plunge earlier, figuring that it wasn't a big deal if they were supposed to be a couple. Considering that that was the case and he'd only really known his own hand up until that point, he ended up agreeing right away, and so they had ended up having an awkward, fumbled mess of a time as they tried to get used to the number of limbs and the clammy sensation of hands and feet against warmer flesh, and the way that it felt rather weird to put things in places that neither of them had really explored before. And when they reached the end, they simply stared at each other in contemplation before Seungcheol breathed that perhaps it wasn't working out as well as he'd thought. He didn't seem disappointed in the outcome, but there was still a sense of discomfort in the way that he held himself, which only fed into Soonyoung's own feelings of confusion over the whole situation.

"What, the sex?" Soonyoung asked as if he didn't already know the answer. He had realised very quickly that playing dumb was a silly idea. Seungcheol hesitated, seemingly not knowing whether to take the question seriously or not.  
"Yeah, maybe we should've waited a bit longer." That was it. Not the answer that Soonyoung had been looking for at all. Seungcheol quickly began to clean up, keeping his mouth shut until Soonyoung finally piped up again.  
"Or did you mean that you're not feeling us as a couple?" He saw the shiver running up Seungcheol's spine as he heard that. Seungcheol dared to turn around, showing off a guilty-looking expression, although he clearly couldn't bring himself to reply. "Don't worry, I'm not sure either. I think we saw the app and assumed that we should be in love and now we've rushed into four months of something weird. But I've been thinking about other options where things'll still work out well between us, if you'd like to hear them?"

Seungcheol relaxed right away. He'd been thinking about it for a few weeks already too, he said, and he didn't know what he could do to feel better about it. Not after they'd decided to jump straight into it like that. Not after Soonyoung had said that he was his first proper love and that he was excited to have a future together. So he'd assumed that by sleeping together, they could at least restart that honeymoon phase and feel better about things. Yet, it was clear that they'd simply had a smack of regret rather than heightened feelings. Both of them, that was. He simply pulled his trousers back on and sat on the edge of the bed, taking Soonyoung's hand in his own again to show that he was listening.

The first option was that they broke up and simply let things be without telling people unless it happened to come up in conversation. The second option was that they could announce it and risk a bigger deal being made of it than necessary. The third was that they stayed together for the moment so that they had some companionship and could see whether there was a chance that the app was right after all, and then they agreed to break up officially if one person fell in love with someone else. Naturally, Seungcheol chose the final option. He'd really hoped that the app would work for them since he wasn't really the sort of person who actively sought out love, but he didn't want to limit them to a miserable relationship built on fondness and false expectations for how far the relationship could realistically go. And so, they'd chosen that option.

For a while, it worked out for them. They would do whatever they felt was right at that moment. If one person was craving physical contact of any form - from holding hands to mixing bodies - the other would provide the support that they needed. If they wanted someone to talk to, there was always someone there. If they needed any kind of help, they only needed to pick up their phone and call. It turned out to be more of a comfortable friendship, admittedly, and Soonyoung felt that even though the app was probably wrong about their relationship, it had at least given them the chance to come together as great friends who could support each other. And maybe that was better than a romantic relationship. There were fewer expectations and fewer demands, and they were open to show affection to each other in non-typical manners without the judgement that came from others when they didn't act like a couple.

That arrangement ended up continuing into until March the following year, just before they were due to move into their final year of high school. They were on their winter break from classes and Seungcheol had essentially disappeared for the month. He had stopped sending messages or checking in and whilst Soonyoung was generally fine with it, he did feel rather out-of-the-loop when he was on his own like that. Seungcheol had pretty much become the person he spoke to the most, and so he spent more time with his laptop and video games than anything else. Only occasionally did he get a message from one of their other friends and end up chatting with them for a while, although it was clear that they were busy with family issues too.

It was around four o'clock in the morning, just three days before they were supposed to start school again, that Seungcheol finally sent Soonyoung a message. He'd been awake watching videos on his phone, thankfully, and the message had shaken some surprise into his body right away. Not only because he'd not been expecting it, but also because it served to make him realise just how late it was and that he should have really been heading to bed. "Sorry, I've been in the asscrack of nowhere with no service," the message said. "But I have so much to tell you, so I need you to come over as soon as you're awake. Don't worry about me - I've slept in the car all the way back, so I can wake up whenever you arrive. Spare key is in the right-hand flower pot next to the door. Let yourself in and try not to wake my parents."

Despite the fact that he'd wanted to continue watching his show, Soonyoung ended up forcing himself to go to sleep. He'd set an alarm for eight o'clock but ended up sleeping through it and only woke at noon when his mother shouted him for lunch. Of course, he'd realised pretty quickly that he'd made a huge mistake and inhaled the entire meal before making his way straight to Seungcheol's house, and it was no surprise when his friend was already awake by the time he got there. Seungcheol seemingly understood exactly what had happened without him even needing to explain, though, which had rather embarrassed Soonyoung. Yet, it remained unsaid as they ended up going through to his room and sitting down together.

"So," Seungcheol had started, then he paused to take a deep breath. Soonyoung waited patiently for him to continue, sensing the flurry of feelings that had smacked him in the face along the way. It seemed that he'd had a million things to say but not so much time to organise his thoughts, and he was only just starting to catch up on it all. And when he started again, his voice was a lot softer than the first time. 

"So, my parents insisted that we go to this valley resort thing this year and didn't tell me because they figured I needed to have a break before we were faced with a year of intensive studying, but they didn't want me to start getting nervous about talking to friends on the way there so they kept it quiet, right? And it was a great place to relax with all of these hot springs and everything and I really got the chance to relax, so I expected that I was gonna come into this new year feeling a lot less stressed and ready to face the amount of studying that we have to do, but then, you know... I met this guy and he completely changed everything for me."

Soonyoung had to admit, it felt bittersweet hearing Seungcheol discussing his feelings for someone else like that. On one hand, he was happy to hear his friend talking about how someone had sucked the air out of his chest and left him feeling as if he'd come in contact with a siren or something. He loved getting to see the photo of the boy who had snatched Seungcheol's heart so quickly and had tempted him into the laundry room at the resort, where they had shared a steamy make-out session and ultimately exchanged numbers so that they could meet up again when their parents went to the bar. He even felt rather impressed when Seungcheol pulled his shirt off to show the mass of lovebites that covered his collar, chest and back.

But on the other hand, it left him feeling a little bit... well, empty. He'd listened to how his friend spoke about the guy as if he'd personally put all of the stars in space just to win Seungcheol's love, and he'd noticed how guilty Seungcheol seemed to look as soon as he realised how much he'd been spilling about his love interest. "I'm sorry," he finally added to the end, his voice sounding hopeless, and it was clear that he wanted to say something else but couldn't find the words to express himself. Soonyoung placed a hand on his knee and told him that it was fine, despite the aching in his heart. And so Seungcheol took a deep breath and a step back and then continued, but down a slightly different route.

"Anyway, when we first met, he showed me his Love Quote app and it showed the words I'd just said to him. And obviously, I was feeling pretty bad because I knew for a fact that what he said wasn't, 'What, is my handwriting so rubbish that it's not worth keeping?' but then he asked me to double-check and, well..." He snatched up his phone right away and began to scroll through with an index finger until he'd found the app and opened it. Then he turned the screen around to show Soonyoung.

In place of what he'd said when they first met, there were new words on the screen. "Excuse me, do you know where locker number fifty-three is?" Soonyoung's eyes focused on each individual word in turn as he took it in. He read it again and again, taking it deep into his mind as it truly confirmed that it had been a mistake and he wasn't meant to be with Seungcheol, and then he let out a long breath as he finally decided that maybe it was time to let it go. It was more of a disappointment than he'd imagined, seeing as they'd spent more of their relationship trying to convince themselves that they were meant to be together than actually enjoying it, but he was somewhat relieved that perhaps there was still hope. As much as he wanted the app to be fake, he sort of wanted it to be real too. Just so that he'd know what to expect.

"Well?" Seungcheol finally continued. "Aren't you gonna open yours up and see if it changed too?" It made sense, really. If Seungcheol's phrase changed and he found someone else, it only made sense for Soonyoung's phrase to change too, now that they weren't meant to be together. So he took his phone out of his pocket - trying his hardest not to seem as nervous as he probably looked - and then he searched for the app and opened it.

"Do you want this, or should I throw it away for you?"

And his heart sank immediately. A thousand thoughts ran through his head right away. Was it a sign that maybe Seungcheol had never been his soulmate and the quote was meant for someone else? Did it mean that Seungcheol _was_ his soulmate but it was no longer mutual? Did it mean that the app wasn't working for him, or that it only changed if he happened to come within close contact of someone he was supposed to be with? Did it mean that he didn't _have_ a soulmate and it was simply showing up the words from his last attempt?

Seungcheol had stared at it for longer than Soonyoung imagined he would. For a while, the look of defeat on his face perfectly mirrored the look that had once had a home with Soonyoung. His expression was completely unreadable as he took it in similarly to how Soonyoung took in his quote, then he slowly adjusted his posture so that he was more relaxed. "Hey, Soonyoung," he finally said as he brought his eyes back up. "I know I've been talking a lot about this guy and all, but I'm starting to think that it's another situation where I've rushed everything and tried to convince myself that I love him because I find feelings hard. And you know, long-distance relationships aren't really ideal, especially in our final year of high school. If you wanna try again, you and me, I can tell him that it's not gonna work between us."

Okay, so that was one of the reasons why Soonyoung had fallen in love with him so hard in the first place. As much as the evidence that Seungcheol had moved on had been there - through his excited ramblings about how he'd felt an instant connection with the guy and how it was as if he'd fallen in love in a matter of weeks - his concern for Soonyoung was also obvious. And sure, they hadn't been together for a while. They had decided that it was time to call it quits months ago and they'd not really questioned it since. But there he was, considering whether it was the right decision because Soonyoung had kept that same quote the whole time. Without even considering the impact that it would probably have on his own anxiety and stress levels if they were to try to bring that relationship back after they'd gotten comfortable in _not_ being together, he wanted to make sure that Soonyoung was okay. It wasn't really the best way to go about it, but it served as that reminder of why they'd ended up jumping in as deep as they did in such a short space of time.

Of course, Soonyoung had to reject him. It was hard to do it when thoughts of his romantic fate began to rise, but he figured that it was for the best when Seungcheol had already fallen for someone else and seemed happy with that fate. And sure, the app might not have been giving him much to work with and it had ultimately ended up being a massively disappointing conclusion to their first meeting after so many weeks apart, but he figured that at least the good side was that he knew it was possible for the words on the app to change if circumstances shifted. Or perhaps, if it detected someone else with the app nearby. There was no way of telling for sure.

They'd decided to go out for dinner that evening so that Seungcheol could be sure that they'd part feeling happier than when the conversation had finished. He was conscious of the change in energy but didn't really want to bring it up, and Soonyoung actually preferred it that way since it took a bit of pressure off him to act as if he was happy when the more he thought about it, the more miserable he started to feel. Dating wasn't everything but it was sure as hell one way for him to feel better about himself after being single for so long and then only having a temporary relationship between then and now.

Seungcheol had decided on Soonyoung's favourite fast-food restaurant and was ready to argue against any suggestions that Soonyoung didn't want it. After all, they served his favourite ice cream and he always felt better after he'd eaten there, even if he did have a habit of claiming to not be hungry when he was upset. The pressure was taken off him to speak as Seungcheol ordered on his behalf, choosing their usual extra sides along the way, and then they'd taken a seat in the corner so that they could have some privacy as they ate.

"You know, I do really love you, Soonyoung," Seungcheol said as he began arranging the food on the table. "I know I've screwed up a lot of times and I've probably hurt your feelings a lot since we started talking, but I love you more than you could imagine."  
"I love you too," Soonyoung replied softly, trying his hardest not to let the words catch in his throat on the way out. It felt weird to say it in such a platonic context, but also strangely right. It was the sort of phrase that he'd needed to hear, after all, even if he was hearing it from the ex-boyfriend who was no longer going to be his, whether he felt there was any chance of them having a future together or not.

The conversation was a lot lighter as they ate together. Once the topic of romance was out of the way, they could move onto other things, such as what Soonyoung had done over the holiday period and the things Seungcheol had done with his family during their time away. They could discuss everything that was going to come up in the next year and decide on their plans for extra classes. They worked very well as biology partners so it was probably best for them to go to the same classes together after school, they decided. At least that way, they would actually be able to revise together too, and that would probably help them when it came to their exams and homework. It left them with more time to dedicate to the more difficult subjects, plus someone to mope with when times got tougher.

Seungcheol had decided upon ice cream once they'd finished their main meal and had spent some time talking. He insisted that Soonyoung wait there for him as he got up out of his seat, then Soonyoung had quickly turned to his phone in order to start scrolling through Tumblr. That was, until the shape of another person nearby grabbed his attention and brought him right back to reality. He was a rather weary-looking member of staff who had clearly had a rough day and was waiting for his shift to finish. He pressed his fingers down on the edge of the table as they made eye contact and he tried his best to find the words that he wanted to say. Finally, they came out and left a shiver running through Soonyoung's body.

"Do you want this, or should I throw it away for you?"


	3. Chapter 3

Not only did Soonyoung freeze up right away, but he also noticed that Seungcheol spun around on the spot to face them as soon as he overheard it and flashed Soonyoung a glance that told him that he needed to talk to the guy right away.

"What was that?" Soonyoung stammered out. The guy looked at him as if he was dumb, then slowly repeated what he'd said. Soonyoung's breath caught in his chest for a moment, and he only managed to speak again when he had successfully offloaded it from his chest. And that took a surprising amount of effort, considering that it was just a little phrase that didn't really have any romantic implications at all. The guy didn't seem fazed at all, though, Soonyoung noticed. Either he wasn't the guy's soulmate, or something was seriously up with him.  
"Do you have Love Quote?" he asked once he had recovered enough to speak. The guy looked him up and down with an unimpressed look on his face.  
"No. Besides, I'm working. It's common courtesy not to hit on people who are trying to do their jobs." At that point, he repeated his question one more time and Soonyoung allowed him to take the tray whilst he basked in the feelings of shame and embarrassment that threatened to consume him.

It was made even worse by the fact that the server kept flashing glances at him here and there, as he knew that Soonyoung was sulking in the corner because he had been rejected. It was painfully obvious and there was nothing that Soonyoung could do about it except sulk more. Which, in turn, led the guy to sigh and swap with another member of staff, who resumed cleaning duties and allowed that server to go back into the food preparation area.

The guy wasn't his, Soonyoung decided. Without any doubt, it couldn't be him. Even if he _had_ managed to get the quote correct, word for word, they weren't meant to be together. He couldn't bring himself to be with a guy who gave him attitude like that, and he couldn't bear the thought that something was supposed to happen between them when he had just been trying to make conversation and had been shut down so quickly. And the fact that he had swapped with someone else so that he didn't have to be on the restaurant floor with him was embarrassing. A huge sign that even if they _were_ soulmates, that had completely changed forever now. The guy wasn't going to give him a chance and Soonyoung wasn't going to give him one either.

Seungcheol felt bad for him when he got back to the table and saw that they weren't talking. He caught Soonyoung's expression and had almost decided not to mention it, but then Soonyoung had let out an embarrassed wail as he took his ice cream and it just had to come up as a topic of conversation. "Not for you, huh?" Seungcheol asked. He held his own glass in one hand as he twirled the spoon between two fingers. Soonyoung shook his head.  
"He's rude and mean. Said he didn't have the app, but he wasn't even nice about it. You know, at least let me make conversation when it's clear that I'm trying my hardest." There were plenty more guys out there, Seungcheol pointed out, although he did urge Soonyoung to take one last look at the app now to see whether it had changed. And lo and behold, nothing had changed at all. Still the same stupid words that he'd been seeing on the screen for months.

But now he felt pretty pathetic. He had watched Seungcheol falling in love with someone else, half of their classmates were in relationships with other people who they'd found using the app, and now he was put into a position where he didn't know what to do with himself. For the first time, he actually wanted to actively fall in love. Now that he'd had a taste of it and even found himself in a place where he thought someone could have been the one for him - only to lose them before they'd even kicked it off - he really, really wanted to have a relationship. But when there were so many people around, and so many who could say his ridiculously vague quote, he didn't even know where to start.

He needed to be mindful of how he replied, too. He needed to reply with something that wasn't too vague that his real love wouldn't be able to realise that it was him, but it had to be something that matched with whatever their quote was, so he had to be careful of the fact that it couldn't be too out there, otherwise it just wouldn't work either. As he'd seen with others, context was important too.

No. No, actually, scrap that. The app was stupid and he didn't care. He was going to actively go out of his way to date someone who didn't have his matching quote, he decided, just to prove that it was possible. People did it before dating apps came out and he was sure that there were other people in the world who didn't want to rely on them. Other than that server.

Or maybe he wouldn't do that. Heck, he didn't even know what he wanted anymore. Soonyoung couldn't help but scowl as he ate his ice cream as slowly as possible, trying his hardest to avoid Seungcheol's questions the whole time. And sure, there was no way that he could feel truly sad whilst eating the ice cream - just as Seungcheol had said - but it wasn't really something that made him happy at that point in time. He just felt weird, like he didn't really know himself. He couldn't make up his mind, and he just wanted to forget about the whole thing. But he also wanted to find his soulmate. Heck, he wanted it both ways, but there was no physical way to make that happen, so he was going to have to figure out another way to make things work.

The one thing he'd learnt from high school was that making decisions when he was upset wasn't a good idea but nevertheless, he deleted the app and tried his hardest to push it to the back of his mind for the rest of the week. He tried his hardest to ignore all mentions of the quote, even that from his friend who had figured out how his quote - "How about you go and die?" - could lead to a relationship. For a matter of reference, he was at a cinema and had announced spoilers for the movie that he was going to see, which he had already seen four times with their other friend, and then girl behind him had said that out of spite because she had managed to stay spoiler-free for weeks and was finally getting to watch it, only to have the ending spoiled in the snack queue.

Of course, it wasn't going to take all that long for Soonyoung to hear his quote again, though. It was inevitable when it was that vague yet that specific. He had grumpily distanced himself from everyone else, since the app was all they ever seemed to talk about when they were together, and he had decided to get some bubble milk tea from a nearby store on his way home one day so that he didn't have to walk with them all. And he had to admit, he found himself looking at the drink preparation guy for a lot longer than he expected, since the guy was pretty damn handsome, but then the quote had slipped out when that guy had taken over the till from his colleague - who had taken the order - and he immediately offered Soonyoung his receipt. Soonyoung's brain shut off completely.  
"You can keep it, if you'd like." The guy realised right away and there was a flash of familiarity behind his eyes, although it quickly disappeared as he tried to play it off.

"You're saying that as if it's a gift," he said, then promptly followed it up with a wink. Soonyoung felt his chest seizing in his chest. All of a sudden, he was a frail little pigeon whose heart couldn't handle the fact that the guy had switched from a professional to a flirt in two seconds flat, and he had to sit down for a little while as he waited for the guy to make his order. Then, when it arrived, the guy made sure to face a little note towards him as he took it, just so that he knew it was there. And as Soonyoung took it, he let out a long breath. It was a message with the guy's name - Seokmin - along with a string of numbers and a few words to acknowledge that he'd said his Love Quote. Soonyoung stared at it for almost as long as he'd stared at Seokmin when he had been behind the till, and then he flashed a glance upwards. It was clear that Seokmin couldn't say much more on the topic whilst he was at work, as he simply flashed another smile at Soonyoung and wished him a great day, but it was enough.

Soonyoung spent a painfully long time with the cup in his hand. He looked at each letter, in turn, taking note of Seokmin's handwriting and the way he wrote each number. He sipped the drink slowly so that he could still keep the exchange fresh in his mind the entire time, and then sat on a bench with the cup still in his hand so that he could stare at it for just a little bit longer before throwing it away.

Admittedly, Soonyoung was rather relieved by the fact that the quote had come up again. It had only really taken two months for him to get over Seungcheol and that server at the restaurant - or, well, sort of - and he was _already_ in a position where he found the guy handsome before they had even said the quote. And he had been especially surprised by that case. The guy hadn't even rang his order through. He just happened to be going onto the till to figure something out, and he had noticed the receipt there before Soonyoung's cashier had noticed it. It was a coincidence, but the good sort. Soonyoung was sure to message the guy before he threw the cup away, and he'd received an equally enthusiastic message in return shortly afterwards. It was a huge relief that he'd been coming to the end of his shift, as it meant that they were able to reconnect very quickly, and the first message that came through from Seokmin was, "So you got a rubbish quote too, huh?"

He couldn't help but laugh at that. It was the fate of those with the worst quotes to spend their lives knowing that they wouldn't have a great time trying to find a partner. Seokmin expressed his own concerns over the fact that people fumbled over their words when he said something that was slightly away from their teashop schema, and so it was likely to come out as an accident at some point. But he'd never really seen someone notice their quote and get so flustered over _that_ before, he confessed. It led to Soonyoung pointing out how he always seemed to have a fumble when he heard those words, since they caught him every time without fail, and then he saw Seokmin typing for a particularly long time in response. For a second, he considered that perhaps he'd said the wrong thing and ruined things with Seokmin that quickly, but his reply explained why right away.

"Oh, do you have a partner or something? I don't want to step on any toes by hitting on you like this." he pointed out. Breath of relief. Soonyoung was still doing fine.  
"No, actually, we decided that it wasn't going to work as something romantic and so we broke up. He recently found someone else and his quote changed, so I think that's us finished, haha." The "haha" at the end had been a poor attempt at making it sound lighthearted but Seokmin saw past it right away. He pointed out that it was probably better for them to find other people if it wasn't going to work anyway, since the app didn't say what sort of soulmate they had found. Soonyoung had questioned it further and Seokmin admitted that he believed in different types of soulmates. He believed that someone's best friend could be their soulmate just as much as their romantic partner. Their child could be their soulmate in a different sort of way, or maybe even their pet. Most people seemed to assume that it was romantic, but he was sure that some people's quotes were meant to bring them together as platonic soulmates.

Soonyoung had to admit, it actually made sense. He guessed that by keeping it to themselves and not revealing that fact, people stayed hooked on the app. As it turned out, they probably had a lot of soulmates in their lives but most people assumed that they were searching for love. It meant that people who were probably supposed to be good friends were possibly breaking off relationships with people they were supposed to be in love with over the app, even though their situation was perfectly fine in the first place. Maybe. Of course, Soonyoung didn't know for sure, but it seemed to be a pretty good bet.

They had ended up chatting for quite some time that evening, and it had ultimately ended up with them deciding to have a date. A modern-day date, that was. A Netflix date.

Seokmin was a university student so he invited Soonyoung round to his dorm after school. To start with, he had been rather anxious when Soonyoung had admitted to still being in high school, but then it turned out that there was around a year age gap between them and Seokmin felt a lot better. After all, he was pretty sure that they were going to be romantic soulmates, seeing as they had found each other attractive as soon as they met, so the last thing he really needed was to find out that Soonyoung was in his first year of high school and have it suddenly turn creepy.

The implications of the date meant that Soonyoung spent the whole day panicking about it at school. Was his shave clean enough? Was he going to sweat through his shirt and leave visible sweat stains that would disgust his date? Would he _smell_ of sweat and turn him off? Was his underwear appropriate for a date of that kind? What about his socks? Were his nails trimmed down enough? A thousand more thoughts came throughout the course of the day and before he knew it, he felt like a complete mess.

Nevertheless, he dragged himself to Seokmin's campus straight after class and pretended that he hadn't been feeling nervous about their date all day. They met at the university gate and Seokmin insisted that it was fine just to walk through. Unless they were acting suspiciously, there was absolutely no reason why they would be questioned by anyone. So Soonyoung stayed close and they walked through with no issues, then finally settled inside his room. Soonyoung had been a bit nervous about that part specifically, since he had assumed that Seokmin would be sharing a room with someone, but then it turned out that the bed next to his was not only empty, but was also completely bare. Just a mattress.

"You don't have a roommate?" he asked. Seokmin shook his head.  
"Not yet. My roommate dropped out before we even made it here. So I live on my own and I have the option to have my friends over a lot more than other students." At that point, he started asking Soonyoung about his own plans for university, along with follow-up questions in response to every answer he gave. And Soonyoung had to admit, he felt it was more pressure and less romantic, but then Seokmin suggested that he could come to the same university and they could share a room, and Soonyoung felt his face flushing right away.

"Too soon?" He shook his head and Seokmin gave a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so forward. I just miss having company around here." At that point, he rocked forward and Soonyoung was convinced that he was about to be kissed, so when the contact didn't come, his lips tingled with a sensation that suggested he'd been cheated. "Should we watch a movie now?" Seokmin asked, his eyes flashing down towards Soonyoung's lips in a way that only teased his desire even further. Curse him.  
"Sure thing," Soonyoung replies, trying his hardest not to sound too disappointed by this kissing thing. At that point, Seokmin moved his laptop to the drawer next to his bed and began searching for something to watch. 

He'd decided on something that seemed rather mundane but actually turned out to be pretty interesting. When encouraged to do so, Soonyoung laid down on the bed and allowed Seokmin to cuddle up against his back. It was weird but welcome to feel someone else's warmth against his back, especially since Seokmin's crotch was directly pressed against his asscheeks. He shifted his weight and accidentally pushed his hips back, earning a soft grunt in response, although nothing more came of it. No grinding or feeling him up, nor did Seokmin appear to get aroused by the knock.

On one hand, Soonyoung was rather impressed by his level of control but on the other hand, he found that actually, he rather wanted to spend some time with Seokmin pushing his buttons. Those were the connotations of those sorts of dates, after all, so it was only right for Seokmin to make sure that he remembered the night. But then again, he supposed he didn't mind the movie that much if they really _were_ going to spend the whole time watching it. As he'd said, it looked boring but was actually pretty interesting, so it didn't bother him that much at all.

Except for the fact that Seokmin only started trying his luck when a really interesting part began. Soonyoung had been captivated by a very intellectually-stimulating scene, in which a detective tried to figure out what had happened to a guy who was presumed to be dead, and _that_ was the point in which Seokmin began kissing his neck. And sure, Soonyoung went along with it and allowed his date to do that, but he quickly found that the movie scene was on his mind the whole time. He didn't know who the killer was - or even if there _was_ a killer - and he was worried about the safety of the detective as he tried to figure that sort of thing out. And there was a hint of magic and trickery involved, so perhaps it had all been a big set-up.

Of course, after a few minutes of things getting heavy - in which they were both left in just their boxers and hands were touching over bare skin - Seokmin seemed to catch Soonyoung's distraction. He paused for a moment, taking in his expression and features, then noticed his eyes flickering slightly to the right, which was where the laptop was perched. "Do you want to keep watching the movie?" he asked.  
"I just want to know how the detective finds out what happened to him," Soonyoung admitted. And even though Seokmin was undeniably stiff, he gave a laugh and a nod and began spooning him again.

It was a bit of a distraction, though. Soonyoung was painfully aware of the fact that his stomach was just _there_ and that gravity dragged it down towards the mattress when he was laid like that. He was also aware of the face that Seokmin's breath was tickling against his neck and that he had hot skin against his back. Despite his insistence that he wanted to watch the movie, Soonyoung had committed the sight of Seokmin's bare torso to memory and he was replaying the image in his head over and over. And then there was the fact that he could really _feel_ Seokmin's bulge against his ass this time and it took all the effort in the world not to rub against it.

The date had ultimately finished when the movie did. Soonyoung's parents had called him to ask where he was and he realised right away that he'd forgotten to tell them that he would be going out, and so he had to rush home. He imagined that it would probably be their last date, seeing as he'd completely cockblocked Seokmin by asking to watch the movie and then hurrying away, but he received a text before he'd even made it home to thank him for coming over. Seokmin apologised again for being so forward but not really talking that much, then suggested that perhaps they could branch out a bit more and go to an ice rink for their next date. The first one had confirmed that they were attracted to each other, as far as he was concerned, and so the second one was supposed to give them a chance to really get to know each other.

Of course, Soonyoung agreed without hesitation, and so it was arranged. And that one went well, so they arranged to go to a theme park together. And that one had been amazing, so Seokmin finally took Soonyoung to a restaurant and asked if he'd like to be his boyfriend, rather than a near hook-up, and Soonyoung agreed and that was that.

It felt strange telling his friends that he was in a relationship, though. Almost alien. It wasn't something that any of them really expected, and they were rather surprised that he'd managed to keep is quiet for so long, especially considering that they had all spent their time talking about the various partners they'd had through the app. It was a big group so there was a lot of space for discussion, and yet he'd let them all believe that he hadn't been seeing anyone the whole time.

It was a good sign, though, he guessed. A sign that there was actually something between them and the focus wasn't on that app. And sure, they had just happened to say each other's quotes, but it didn't necessarily mean that there wasn't a chance for them without that. After all, they were actually really into each other and it showed. Seokmin had insisted that they take things a little slower after the first date but Soonyoung couldn't even begin to count the number of times in which they had almost kissed. Each time, they either caught themselves or something got in the way - like a head bump or a call from Soonyoung's parents - and they ended up smiling and moving away again. It was a sign that their first kiss was really going to be something special, Soonyoung decided, and he couldn't wait for that. It was traditional romance without any of the rubbish that came alongside app dating, and he loved that.

Okay, so maybe it made it a little hard for him to revise for his exams, but that didn't mean that it wasn't going to work on a long-term basis. He was sure that it would be fine.


	4. Chapter 4

Screw it, Soonyoung fell in love quickly.

There was something about Seokmin's charm that meant he was drawn in every single time without fail. His smile lit up the room and his actions were so genuine and warm that Soonyoung had no other choice but to fall in love with him immediately. When they were together, nothing else in the world could touch him. It was infuriating but also amazing. Tough but almost euphoric. Every second they spent together made it feel as if there were butterflies about to burst through his chest and it was absolutely undeniable that they were meant to be a couple. They were soulmates and that was that.

And from what Seokmin said, he felt the same way. He felt as if Soonyoung was the centre of his universe and the person who was made for him, and that was the best feeling in the entire world. They spent as much time together as possible on his days off from work, and he almost always appeared with a gift of some sort. Usually, it was a snack, but it was sometimes other things, like the necklace he'd bought because he'd figured that the chain would complement Soonyoung's eyes perfectly. He was right, of course, and that only served to solidify their relationship. Soonyoung made sure to wear it every day and night, being incredibly careful not to cause any damage to it at all and showing it off whenever he had the chance to do so.

But as he'd had expected, having a boyfriend did, in fact, make studying for his exams a lot harder. Partly because of his inability to effectively manage his time, but also partly because he was so smitten that he couldn't bear to spend time apart whilst he revised. He started to neglect his study timetable, to begin with, instead opting to spend every possible minute with Seokmin. Then he stopped completing his homework and rarely attended the extra classes that his teachers recommended in order to bring his grades up. He didn't care about the consequences - he knew that no matter what, they were meant for each other and so it wasn't necessarily a big deal if he wasn't so good at taking tests. In fact, tests were the _least_ of his worries when he was waiting so eagerly for their first kiss and trying to create great memories. Those memories would last forever, whereas he didn't necessarily need to get good grades to get a good job.

Well, at least until his in-class mock test results came back.

When Soonyoung saw them, he immediately felt a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. A sense that made him feel incredibly sick and left both his stomach and his head aching. He had an awful feeling that he had royally screwed up, and there was no way to recover from it. And sure, it sounded like a great idea to avoid studying in the beginning, but that didn't mean that he felt the same way when he had to live with the consequences. He'd expected at least a C, but he had _completely_ flunked it. He hadn't even received a passing grade and his score for most of the tests was in single digits. And now, he was going to have to show his parents what he'd done when he had promised that he'd done all of his homework and was going to a friend's house to revise, rather than going to meet his boyfriend in a nearby mall. And they were going to start asking questions - he just knew it. Did the friend fail too? What did they actually revise if he'd messed up that badly? Had they just completely missed the topic? Why hadn't they revised the whole book over the three weeks they'd already spent revising?

Naturally, he flushed it down the toilet and informed his parents that the results hadn't come through yet. "My teachers haven't marked the papers yet," he announced, "Our whole school has been taking tests lately so they need more time to catch up on the workload." Initially, his parents accepted that excuse and he was in the clear for a few more days until his teachers realised that his parents hadn't received the news. That was inevitably going to happen, but it was just a matter of time. There was no way that they wouldn't talk to the teachers if they had seen the results, especially since they were generally very strict about those sorts of things, and so the teachers would definitely know that Soonyoung had tampered with the paper in some way if there was no contact. But at least it would give him the chance to get on his parents' good side by doing extra chores and helping out more around the house, and then they would hopefully feel better about it when they actually received his grades. It was the best he could do, under the circumstances he had.

Of course, though, it came after school that Friday, meaning that Soonyoung had a whole weekend to spend with his parents' reactions. Which was, quite possibly, the worst thing that ever happened to him. He had been with Seungcheol and a few of their other friends at the time, blissfully unaware of the fact that they had found out until they called him and demanded that he go home immediately. He knew exactly what the call was about - there was no denying that. So he did as instructed without question, knowing full well that they were furious with him and that an argument would only make things worse for him in the long-run.

Saying that, he hadn't _quite_ been prepared for the questions that they asked, in the end. He thought he was, but that was mere naivety. Straight away, his mother figured out that he was seeing someone and that was the reason why his grades had dropped and as much as he wanted to deny it, the fire in his mother's eyes left him in a position where he _couldn't_ lie about it. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew the consequences of doing that and it just wasn't worth the risk. After all, they were going to find out eventually anyway and that would be even worse for him than if he was to tell the truth from the start. So he admitted to it. He admitted that he'd been dating someone and that was why his grades were so low, and he was immediately grounded for it. His phone was taken away and was grounded with no set timeframe for when he would be allowed out again, and so the torture began.

His biggest concern was that he had no way of telling Seokmin that he was grounded and couldn't contact him. He was also concerned that his parents would read the texts that they had sent each other. Most of them were fine but there were a few that were a little more explicit since they had been toying with the idea of intimacy before they'd even had their first kiss. It was natural when they were developing and they were starting to gain those sorts of interests in each other. It was going to be solely based around masturbation in the early days, naturally, but that didn't mean that the texts reflected that. In fact, they were way more than that and he knew that his poor mother would have a heart attack if she found out what sorts of things he'd been sending Seokmin.

But it was something that he was going to have to deal with. So he did.

It took around two weeks for him to get his phone back, after proving that he'd been doing all of his homework and had spent a lot of time revising for his exams. He needed to show them all of the proof that he'd been working harder at school, including all of the notes that he'd been writing in class, and only when his parents were satisfied did they hand it back. Even then, though, they made sure to make it explicitly clear that they didn't want him talking to Seokmin whilst he was revising for his exams. They felt that the relationship had already rocked the boat for him and limited how much he was going to achieve in the future, since his mock exams hadn't accurately shown what he needed to improve on when they were suggesting that he'd messed everything up in general. And if Seokmin was a good boyfriend, he would wait for Soonyoung to finish. He would understand that it was an incredibly important time in his life.

Soonyoung wasn't so sure about that idea so he made sure to send Seokmin a message anyway, figuring that it was best to let him know about the situation. He had been worried, he said, and felt as if maybe it was Soonyoung's way of breaking up with him. He was glad that they were able to work on things, but he didn't know if he could wait for the end of his exams. After all, that would mark the start of his _own_ exams, meaning that they would hardly have a chance to speak for several months. And Soonyoung caved once again, choosing to spend more time with Seokmin again by sneaking out of the house or saying that he was going to practice with Seungcheol, and he made sure to send faked pictures that Seungcheol had staged for him just to prove his point.

It lasted for another month, though, before Seokmin realised the damage that he was doing and chose to step in. He'd taken Soonyoung to the same restaurant that Seungcheol had taken him to, knowing full well that it was the most comfortable place for him to be and that it wasn't so popular that they wouldn't be able to have some privacy. Then, when they had their meals, he admitted that perhaps it was better for them to cut off their relationship for a few months so that Soonyoung could focus on his work. It was unhealthy for him to dedicate his time solely to one person but Seokmin seriously doubted that he would be able to refrain from doing so when he was so adamant that he was okay with everything that was going down in his life. And it was clear that he _wasn't_ okay. If he was okay, he would be able to find that balance, or he would fully accept his failure. He wouldn't have that sense of dread and anxiety over his results, and he wouldn't have been grounded for so long if it wasn't a big deal in his life.

"I think that it would be unrealistic to expect anything less than a break," Seokmin admitted, his eyes staying on the table the whole time. "After all, the last thing I want to do is ruin your life. What if we broke up for good in the future and you had nothing to show for the time we'd spent together?"  
"I'd have amazing memories of us together," Soonyoung protested. "I'd never be in a position where there's nothing to show."  
"Okay, but what if something big happened? What if, I don't know, I cheated on you or killed your uncle or something? Like, something really bad? Would they still be happy memories for you?" It was a bad example, but Soonyoung understood what he was trying to get at. Even so, he didn't like it.

"But you wouldn't do that. I trust you wouldn't."  
"Well, things happen and we don't always expect them. The bottom line is that I don't want you to be in a position where you're left with nothing if we decide that a relationship isn't right for us. I want you to be able to get a good education and get the job you want. I don't want you to have to settle for a retail job because I can tell from your personality that you would hate it if you had to do it for life. We're taking a break and that's final." No "ifs", no "buts". Soonyoung had a thousand ways to protest against the information that he was hearing but Seokmin didn't want to hear it.

And as much as Soonyoung begged him not to break off their relationship, as soon as he'd realised that alternative scenarios weren't going to change his mind, Seokmin was certain that it was the right choice. After all, if they were really meant to be together, they would be able to get back together as soon as the results were posted. It would be as if they'd spent no time apart, and they would be able to pick up where they left off. That would also mean that Soonyoung should be able to get into a university too, meaning that they would be free to spend time together as much as they wanted outside of exams and lessons, and Soonyoung's parents wouldn't be able to say anything about it. If not - if something happened and Soonyoung was still unable to reach the necessary grades - Seokmin was happy to help him find a much better job than _he_ currently had so that they would still be able to be together. It was something that they could sort out together with no problem at all. He just needed Soonyoung to try in the first place, with the promise that he would help him either way.

Soon after he'd finished explaining his plan, Seokmin received a call to say that he was expected back home. He had forgotten that he was supposed to be seeing his parents, as he didn't have classes the following day, and so he had to hurry away once he'd cleaned the table. Soonyoung held it together until Seokmin left but as soon as he was alone, he pressed his hands to his face and let his emotions spill out. He tried his hardest to keep it quiet but that was easier said than done when he was that upset about the situation. So he simply tried to stop his shoulders from shaking and his mouth shut as every blink added to the little puddles that were starting to form on his palms. And so he stayed like that, hoping desperately that by the time he moved his hands away, his eyes would be back to their normal colour or there would be no one else in the restaurant to see that he'd been crying.

"You should go home if you're that tired."

The voice cut him away from his thoughts right away and he snapped his eyes up without thinking about the consequences of doing so. The speaker took in a sharp breath, his eyebrows knitting together with concern. "I'm sorry, you probably didn't need that comment. Do you need someone to talk to?" he asked. Soonyoung shook his head, but the speaker sat down next to him anyway. "Then I'm not leaving until you smile."

If he was being honest, Soonyoung didn't know whether having the snotty server there was going to make things better or worse. On one hand, he figured that having company might have been the best idea when he was feeling so down. On the other hand, he didn't really know the guy at all and that made for a pretty awkward situation. That was something that he made sure to point out very quickly, although the guy rolled his eyes in response. "Fine, we'll do introductions. I'm Jihoon and I've just finished my shift, as you can tell, so I'm not going anywhere until you're feeling better. Do you understand?" despite the slight hint of warmth in his tone, Jihoon was very straight-forward about things and was firm in what he planned to do.

"You should head home, Jihoon," Soonyoung said, nevertheless, as he tried his hardest to scrub away the tears with the cuff of his sleeve. Jihoon grimaced as he passed a napkin over.  
"You haven't told me your name yet."  
"Soonyoung."  
"Well, Soonyoung, I've already told you that I'm not going so you're going to have to put up with that. Now, what flavour milkshake do you want?" Soonyoung hesitated but Jihoon made it very clear that he _never_ backed down, so he ordered a simple vanilla shake. Jihoon went over to the till to orelay the message and came back to sit down as soon as he was done. He proceeded to gaze at Soonyoung with a neutral but sweet expression until the student grew comfortable enough around him to allow a gentle arm touch.

That arm touch was something that Soonyoung really needed. There was no denying that fact. It cut through the cold edge that Jihoon had up until that point and left Soonyoung's stomach pooling with warmth. It wasn't the same as a feeling of attraction, but it did wonders for providing comfort. And it took every ounce of strength, following that, not to start crying again as he became overwhelmed with the feeling of support that had come at exactly the right time. "Now, how about you tell me what happened to make you feel like this?" Jihoon finally asked. "I think you've been upset every time I've seen you here so far. Is this the place you come to when you're sad?"

It made Soonyoung laugh through sniffles. "No, it's my favourite restaurant so boys bring me here when they want to deliver the truth but make sure that the blow is softened."  
"And your man thought that it was a good idea to tell you that he was cheating on you or something?"  
"No, no, nothing like that," Soonyoung sighed. "He just broke up with me. That's all."  
"He did that in your favourite restaurant? That's a bit cold, don't you think?" Soonyoung couldn't really deny that. Especially since it was also Seungcheol's way of making him feel better after he'd announced that he was seeing someone else, it wasn't really fair for him to have to go through that again. And if it was going to continue, he figured that it would end up turning into the place he knew to be the sign of bad news. He just had to wait it out and see how bad that got.

Jihoon finally let out a long breath as one of his colleagues took the shake to the table. He remained silent again until they were completely out of sight, and only then did he begin trying to distract from the situation again. His voice was gentler than it had been at the start of the conversation and he continued to occasionally reach over to touch the back of Soonyoung's hand or arm. Soonyoung figured that that was the guy's love language, of sorts, since he was very direct with the contact but also made sure to monitor his face for any signs of discomfort. The true sign of a gentleman, he figured.

"I don't want to leave you when you're this upset, but I need to start heading home soon. I have another shift in the early morning so I need to have dinner and sleep. Can I walk you part of the way home, just to make sure that you get back alright?"  
"You don't need to do that," Soonyoung pointed out as he took a sip from his drink.  
"But you never know what might happen." That made Soonyoung pause for a second. Without context, he wasn't sure whether it was an attempt at hitting on him or a protective message. Apparently, Jihoon caught that vibe too, though, as he quickly continued. "You know, the male suicide rate is persistently high and I don't want to hear that something bad happened to you because you felt that you were alone and that there was nothing you could do about your feelings. I want to walk you home so that I know you'll be okay because at least if you're there, those thoughts should at least be somewhat diminished. Do you understand?"

Although Soonyoung certainly wasn't considering something like that after a breakup, he felt somewhat comforted by the fact that someone would think about his well-being so deeply when they hardly knew each other. He didn't know what exactly sparked Jihoon to consider his safety to that degree, but he appreciated it more than he felt was possible to put into words. So he thanked him quietly and announced that he was actually rather happy to be walked home, so long as it wasn't weird that he wanted to walk very close to each other, as he was still feeling somewhat fragile and needed some physical closeness. Jihoon simply shrugged and said that he would allow it, and so off they went.

The walk home was somewhat quieter than Soonyoung had expected. Jihoon wasn't a huge talker and didn't seem that fond of small talk. He made conversation when Soonyoung started it, but his conversation was somewhat limited. Yet, it felt safe when he was like that. He was constantly watching out for the right direction and the place to go, and he made sure to stick close to Soonyoung the entire time. Then, when they arrived at the door, he thanked Soonyoung for walking with him and immediately began walking away, leaving him to enter the house and face his parents again, who had been waiting for him for a few hours already. It was dark and late and they had been concerned about the fact that his phone was set to "Do Not Disturb", meaning that they were unable to contact him the whole time. Soonyoung made sure to apologise for that and informed them that he'd had a rough night so he went to get some food on the way back since he didn't know whether his parents were going to still be up when he got back.

They asked no further questions and Soonyoung was frankly relieved that nothing had come up about Jihoon in particular. The last thing he really needed was to have to explain himself again after he'd told his parents that he was no longer in contact with Seokmin and they hadn't met the guy before, meaning that it was easy enough for them to confuse the two people. They had almost certainly seen the two of them walking towards the house but Soonyoung figured that with the lack of intimacy as they walked, they had assumed that Jihoon was just one of his friends who had been kind enough to make sure that he got back safe. Which he guessed was true, for the most part.

He went up to his room when it was clear that they were okay with everything that had happened when he returned home, and then the rest of his night was spent actually _studying_. He didn't really think that he would want to do something like that after how his night had gone up until that point but he quickly found that by doing so, his mind was snatched away from the fact that he had broken up with the best person who had ever come into his life. It meant that he was going to be able to do something productive and then hopefully dream about school, rather than something sad. He wasn't going to stay up thinking about the conversation they'd had and the fact that he should have tried harder to keep Seokmin, and he wasn't going to have to worry about waking up for school the following morning with a horrible feeling of sleep deprivation taking over his body. And that was fine for him. It only took around three hours for him to complete all of the homework that he'd skipped anyway, and he was certain that a little bit more every day would get him back up to where he was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read as: Soonyoung can't keep a relationship
> 
> It's been a hot minute since I last updated this but we're finally past the toughest few weeks until around May so hopefully we can keep up the updates well!! But we'll see!!!
> 
> Love as always <3 Camel


	5. Chapter 5

Admittedly, Soonyoung actually found it a lot easier to study for his exams when he didn't have a boyfriend around, and he had to admit that Seokmin had helped him out significantly by making that call. He hated to have to say it but he didn't quite have the self-control for a boyfriend at that point in his life, and that much was obvious to him only after he'd taken all of his exams and was genuinely feeling as if he was doing well as a result. He could get things done and he could do them to a high quality. For the first time in his life, it didn't feel like a stretch to study for hours at a time to drag his grade up, and he genuinely felt as if he was going to have no problem with reaching his grade goal this time.

Saying that, though, part of it came down to his decision to study at the restaurant. As weird as it sounded, Soonyoung found that it was a lot easier to study whilst he was there instead. He had tried it the first time, in hopes that it would help him to get rid of the negative associations that were starting to form when he went there - as highlighted by Jihoon - but then it just felt like the best option for him eventually. It was welcoming and temperate and provided him with so few distractions that he had no choice but to work hard. Of course, though, it was also prompted further by Jihoon. As much as Soonyoung hated to admit it, Jihoon had left him wanting to go back each day, take up a table, and study away from the stress of his home for a few hours - an added bonus to everything else that the restaurant offered. Jihoon not only made things easier by helping him out after his break-up, even as the storm started to settle down, but also by occasionally paying the bill for him. It had made a huge difference and allowed Soonyoung to get motivated to learn. It was like he was an older brother, carefully watching to make sure that he was okay and that no one interrupted his work for too long.

It had brought them a lot closer, as a result. Not to the point where they were romantically involved - and Soonyoung had gone out of his way to avoid that - but in a way that was innocent and sweet. Soonyoung had learnt little things about Jihoon through listening to him whenever they took a break from their lives, and their relationship quickly got sweeter the more they had the opportunity to chat with each other. He learnt that Jihoon was an only child and still lived with his mother; that he'd taken a break from studying and just never gotten around to going back to school; that he was a loner outside of work and didn't really have many friends. He had a pet dog when he was growing up, and he'd always hated the thought of working in service or retail but there he was. He didn't know whether he was able to leave that sort of job, especially since it cost money to switch jobs in the modern world. 

Speaking to Jihoon was the one thing that really kept Soonyoung's motivation up and had him studying at the restaurant for longer than he probably needed to do so, just so that he could wait for the end of his new friend's shift and spend time with him. It seemed a bit ridiculous when he thought about it, since he was almost certain that Jihoon didn't consider him a friend as much as he saw him as a customer, but that didn't matter when they were together. It was motivation to work, just so that he could talk to someone who was rooting for him to do his best.

By the time he finished his final test, though, it felt weird _not_ to go back the next day so that he could get a celebratory meal and chat with Jihoon about his success. Maybe they _weren't_ friends, but he figured that Jihoon would appreciate knowing that it was over and that he didn't have to sit there slaving over his work at all hours of the day. For a little while, he considered how he was going to present such news, figuring that it would be weird if he just turned up and threw it out there, but then eventually, it just felt weird _not_ to just put it out there. Any other attempt was going to seem forced anyway, so he figured he might as well just put it out there and make it obvious why he was there.

So he went without his books and took it slow so that he could see if Jihoon was around. His friend usually worked the afternoon and evening shifts, so he went over at around midday and tried to peer into the windows to see if he was around. And naturally, he felt his heart sink slightly lower into his chest when he saw that Jihoon wasn't on the tills at least. Bit of a silly reaction, he thought to himself, but it was okay. He just wanted to share the news. That was all.

Despite the fact that he'd been so ready to celebrate, Soonyoung took a seat on the wall outside instead of going in, figuring that it would be better than simply going in for the sake of it and staying for the whole day again when he didn't have that much work to do. He guessed that the latest Jihoon could arrive was at four o'clock, meaning that he could be there for anything up to three hours - considering clocking-in times and all - but that was okay for him. At least if he was outside, he could pretend that he was waiting for someone else or something, rather than being creepy and waiting for a member of staff to arrive. He began scrolling through various apps until he was bored, then switched to the next, the next, the next, until he finally reached the Love Quote app again.

Then he stopped, his finger hovering slightly over the icon. If he said he wasn't curious about it again, he'd be lying. Was there any chance that things had changed for him? Considering that he'd finished with Seokmin and hadn't heard a single peep from him since the end of their relationship? Probably not, but it was worth a shot. If his ex-boyfriend had been serious about starting things again, he would have messaged as soon as the final exam was over. Seokmin knew what time he'd taken the test and he'd had plenty of time to message him by that point, so perhaps they weren't meant to be. Soonyoung tapped once on the icon, holding his breath in anticipation, only to see the same words on the screen. "Do you want this, or should I throw it away for you?" Typical.

"What are you doing out here?" The voice broke him right out of his own head. Soonyoung jumped and shut his phone off as quickly as possible as he snapped around towards the voice. Of course, he knew exactly who it was, but it didn't make it any less surprising.  
"Jihoon, I didn't see you in there. I was going to wait for you to arrive." Jihoon's eyebrow raised as he stared Soonyoung down, but he chose not to address it directly. Thankfully.  
"What happened?"  
"I finished my exams so, uh, I guess I won't be here so often anymore."

Jihoon's face lit up as soon as he heard the news, and he immediately congratulated him over getting them out of the way. He mentioned the amount of work that Soonyoung had put into his studies over the past few weeks, and how he'd always seen him treating everything so seriously. A great move, as far as he was concerned. A sign that Soonyoung had passed with no problems at all and had nothing to worry about. "How are you going to celebrate?" he asked, sounding completely genuine as he asked. That alone was enough to make Soonyoung's chest feel tight with happiness. There was something about seeing Jihoon's usual sarcastic barrier breaking down into something sweet that made his heart feel like it had never seen such sweetness before, not even once.

"I was thinking of eating here since it's where I've been studying and all. I don't think my parents will fund my lunch trips here for much longer now that I don't need to study," he admitted. The excitement became flat as Jihoon stared, unblinking.  
"Are you serious? Here?" Soonyoung tried to argue with him over it - tried to tell him that he couldn't afford much else and besides, it allowed them to talk occasionally - but Jihoon cut him off before he could get too far. "We're going somewhere nicer than this place. This isn't a celebration. It's depressing."  
"It's all I can afford."  
"It's called a date. I'm paying for both of us."

Naturally, that led to a long silence between them as they both took in what he'd said. As it was, it seemed that Jihoon became less confident in what he said the longer he spent considering his choice of words, and then he just looked pitiful. "I don't mean it like a romantic date, you know. Like a friend date. We're friends, so I should be able to take you out and treat you. You know, since I have a job and you're still a student."

Soonyoung had to admit it, he found it pretty cute how Jihoon had ended up getting a little flustered during the silence and had felt the need to justify himself. He could see the embarrassment on Jihoon's cheeks. He couldn't hide the fact that his ears had turned pink, and that his hands had turned paler as he nervously adjusted his work uniform. Soonyoung took a moment to take in the novelty of seeing a grown man get uncomfortable like that, then finally shook his head as politely as possible. "Don't worry, I didn't think it was going to be romantic. You already told me that you're not looking for a relationship or anything, right?" Jihoon looked somewhat relieved and his confidence came back almost right away. He wasn't going to accept a rejection when they were going to celebrate and that was final. He'd already finished work and wanted to go out somewhere anyway, he said, and so he didn't want Soonyoung to feel guilty.

And so, the plan was to go for barbecue. There was a new barbecue house open nearby, Jihoon said, and it was supposed to be great. Soonyoung knew right away that it was going to end up getting expensive, especially since Jihoon started talking about how he had been working on his meat grilling skills, but he had already promised that he wasn't going to hold back over price. It took a lot for him to get comfortable with the discussion, admittedly, but it was a lot easier to relax by the time they got there.

They took a private room with a kotatsu-style table that kept their legs covered in the gap underneath. And within minutes, Jihoon had gone through the menu and written down a selection of item numbers on the page, occasionally checking that Soonyoung agreed with his choices, before finally calling the waitress to hand it over. There was very little conversation between them as the griddle was being prepared, but that changed as soon as the food started arriving.

"So, how come you're not celebrating with any of your friends?" Jihoon asked as he started arranging the meat on the griddle. It was clear that he was a bit concerned but didn't want to make it that obvious. Soonyoung couldn't help but smile.  
"It's funny. I'm the only hopeless romantic in our group, and yet I'm the only one who is single." That's all he could really say. He knew that all of them would be with their respective partners. He knew that they had all been busy and needed to unwind, and he didn't really hold it against them at all. After all, they'd all found soulmates and it was pretty important to keep the love alive when they'd been through the stress of exams at the same time. It wasn't quite like Soonyoung's situation, where Seokmin was several years older than him and didn't have the same exams at the same time. Most of the couples were within their school and the few that weren't - like Seungcheol and Jeonghan - were between two high school students still.

Either way, Jihoon wasn't going to accept just that. He looked sad for a second, then slowly let out a sigh as he shifted the meat around to stop it from sticking. "There's nothing to say you can't spend time with your friends if they're all in relationships and you're not, though," he pointed out, "I'm sure they can halt the touchy-feely shit for a few hours."  
"One of them is my ex-boyfriend," Soonyoung added, as if it was some sort of side note instead of a pretty important detail. He watched as Jihoon's eyes widened a little, then let out a laugh as he dropped his head down. "I mean, we're on good terms still but he'd have his new partner with him, you know, and the guy looks beautiful. And I'd have to chat with this guy whilst acting like I didn't make a handful of stupid decisions with his current boyfriend, you know."

"I don't think I'd be able to do that with my ex-girlfriends' new boyfriends for the first time, you know. If you could handle that, I'd be amazed. Especially if everyone else at the table is in a relationship too." It was obvious what Soonyoung had honed in on as soon as the sentence came out. 'Ex-girlfriend'. His heart sunk right away. Jihoon had dated girls before and, considering his response to the app when they'd first met, it wasn't really a push to assume that he was straight. He had been quite insistent that they weren't going out on a romantic date and had gotten flustered as he tried to explain his way out of it.

Saying that, when Soonyoung couldn't help but make his feelings about it obvious, he felt an ankle gently nudge his under the table. His eyes shot up right away, but Jihoon was rather insistent this time. Perhaps it was that he couldn't see what he was doing and so he could pretend that nothing was happening, but there was something about feeling the side of someone's foot grazing against his ankle and calf that genuinely left electricity running through Soonyoung's body. For a moment, Jihoon acted completely oblivious as he cut the meat into strips and moved it into the bowl before setting up more food on the griddle but as soon as they made eye contact, he whispered a gentle apology.

"I didn't mean to make it about me," he said softly, just to clarify. Soonyoung swallowed as he tried to recover even slightly.  
"No, it's not that. It's... nothing." He offered up an awkward smile, hoping more than anything that Jihoon would drop it before he ended up making things awkward. Of course, though, it wasn't that easy. It was never going to be that easy. Jihoon's foot hooked around his ankle and drew him in closer and that alone sent cold sensations tingling up Soonyoung's spine again.  
"What was it? The girlfriend bit?" Jihoon flashed a glance up as he started flipping the meat again. "I hope I'm not hearing that you only associate with guys who are exclusively gay or straight."

The way he said it was much like an older brother scolding a younger sibling. A slight hint of scorn, but with the promise of no genuine harm along the way. Soonyoung shook his head right away, taken back by the blunt honesty that had seemed so natural and yet so adamant that he had already clocked the fact that Jihoon wasn't completely straight. Which, admittedly, was far from the truth.

 _That_ Jihoon realised, however. He immediately rolled his eyes and motioned towards the side dishes on the table. Then, as Soonyoung took some lettuce and stuffed it with whatever took his fancy on the table, Jihoon's other ankle grazed gently against his knee. "How many straight guys do you know who wouldn't immediately tell you as soon as same-sex relationships came up in conversation, seriously?" he said, his voice considerably lower than it had been before. He took a lettuce leaf and began stuffing it similarly. "I know what you were thinking. Perhaps old flames are a bad topic, though. I'm sure there are other things we could talk about. What are your plans now that your exams are over?"

Soonyoung had to come up with something on the spot there. He hadn't really thought that far ahead. The exams had occupied so much of his mind that he couldn't think of anything else leading up to their end, and he hadn't really spent much time thinking about it since he'd finished. He just spent a good amount of time unwinding instead and then eventually made the decision to spend time with Jihoon. But of course, he had to lie about that and make some interesting answers right there and then. He could feel Jihoon starting to get a little close and whilst he couldn't be _completely_ sure about it, that amount of physical contact felt as if it was starting to drift into flirting territory.

But Jihoon hadn't really shown interest before. In fact, he had explicitly shown a _lack_ of interest and _also_ stated that he wasn't interested in relationships, so that was enough to throw Soonyoung off-guard. Perhaps it was something about the fact that Soonyoung was considerably less child-like now that he was coming close to his high school graduation, or that their legs were hiding underneath the table and so neither of them needed to address the flirting, or perhaps it was something entirely different. Perhaps he had seen Soonyoung so many times that he was starting to become fond of him. Perhaps it was the sort of love language that Jihoon portrayed when spending time with friends.

Either way, he definitely seemed interested as they ate together. He hung onto every word that Soonyoung said and constantly encouraged him to keep talking, although he made sure to monitor his tone so that it sounded only moderately interested in the topic. Like small talk, but on a more detailed level. It was weird to see, but Soonyoung couldn't help but continue. The questions were interesting to _him_ even if his own voice was starting to get a little bit annoying.

Then, without any warning at all, Soonyoung's phone beeped loudly, grinding all conversation to a halt. He pulled it out of his pocket and unlocked the screen, only to see the message that he'd been waiting for - the one from Seokmin.  
"Hey handsome," it read, "You're finished your exams now, right? I can't remember whether I said I'd message you when you finished the exams or when the results come out but I figured you'd prefer it this way anyway. I just wanted to know if you wanted to meet up today or tomorrow so that we can talk about our relationship." As he read it, he tried his hardest to stop the smile from erupting on his face, but it was impossible to force it away when his heart responded in such an intense way to the message.

"One of your friends?" Jihoon asked, trying not to sound too interested. That much was clear enough to humble Soonyoung right away, as he immediately tried to explain that it was nothing too important or interesting. "But you looked so excited," Jihoon pointed out. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it, though."  
"Just my ex-boyfriend," Soonyoung said quickly, then stuffed another lettuce leaf into his mouth. The phone was crammed right back into his pocket, although it seemed as if the damage was already done. Jihoon adjusted his sitting position to be more upright, making sure to move his legs away, and then took a long sip of tea as he obviously tried to come up with something to say.

Finally, the cup moved back down to the table, although his hand stayed wrapped around it. "Someone we wanted to hear from? Perhaps still your soulmate on that app or something?"  
"Well, it doesn't actually tell you who your soulmate is supposed to be," Soonyoung admitted. He could feel shame starting to tingle at his ears and nape, as if it was a bad thing that he was happy about the message. Whilst Jihoon hadn't _said_ it, the conversation of soulmates always felt like a somewhat bittersweet between them. Jihoon had kept his stance on the app and whilst he said that he wasn't bothered by it, there was obviously still some irritation that people treated it like truth. But then again, he didn't really shame Soonyoung for using it either.

The conversation died down considerably as they began picking at whatever food was left over. Soonyoung could feel a pang of guilt in his chest whenever something else was said - more cautious than it had been, and with an element of distance starting to peek through - but he tried his best to invite Jihoon back to the conversation without making it too obvious that he felt bad about being unable to hide his excitement over Seokmin's message. Then, after they'd spent around ten minutes finishing off the remaining food, Jihoon got the bill and paid. He made sure not to let Soonyoung even get a peek, which confirmed right away that it was expensive, and then invited him to collect his shoes.

And, of course, it was raining when they left the restaurant. Pathetic fallacy at its finest. "Did you bring an umbrella?" Jihoon asked. And when Soonyoung shook his head, "Do you want to wait here until it stops, or should we try to find a taxi?"

Taxi it was. They had ended up running across the parking lot together and whilst their faces and hair had ended up soaked, at least their clothes were still semi-dry. Not perfect, but good enough for getting home. They gave the driver Soonyoung's address, with Jihoon insisting that he could walk back to his place once they got there. Despite Soonyoung's protests, the plan remained the same. And so, they sat in silence in the taxi until they reached his house.

Once they were there, though, Soonyoung was in control. It was raining heavier and there was no way he was going to let Jihoon walk home in that sort of rain. Even just getting out of the taxi was enough to soak them all the way through, and a few steps left Jihoon's work shoes squelching. Soonyoung simply _had_ to get him inside and he wasn't taking 'no' for an answer, much like how Jihoon had refused to let him argue against the food bill being covered. "The longer you argue with me," he explained, matter-of-factly, "The wetter we both get. You can stay until the rain stops or my parents can drop you home, and I'll put your clothes into the dryer whilst we wait. I'm sure I have something you can wear in the meantime."

The stubbornness paid off pretty well, if Soonyoung did say so himself. It got Jihoon into the house, and then - once their shoes were toed off - Jihoon quietly insisted that it was a bad idea to get the floors wet by dripping all over the place. A shared idea, ultimately - they ended up taking off their clothes until they were stood in their underwear, which led to Jihoon violently diverting his gaze as he insisted that Soonyoung take him to get dry before there was even a slight chance that his parents could arrive back to find an almost naked man in their hallway.

So they ended up in Soonyoung's bedroom with two towels wrapped around each of them. He searched through the drawers for the smallest clothes he owned, but ended up settling for pyjamas, seeing as regular clothes were going to be way too big on him. It was essentially an old t-shirt and shorts anyway and, as expected, they looked cute on him. Cute enough for Soonyoung to pluck up the courage to apologise by leaning down to touch their lips together, at least.

The few seconds that they made contact felt nicer than Soonyoung could have possibly expected. Jihoon's lips were warm and soft, and the warmth radiating from his skin when they were that close felt inviting. It wasn't the best first kiss he'd shared with another person, but it was definitely one that filled Soonyoung's stomach with butterflies. Even when they parted. Even when their eyes met again, and even when Jihoon's expression was unreadable afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adult life is kicking my ass but I wrote a thing, thank you for your patience throughout this wall :')
> 
> Love as always,  
> Camel


	6. Chapter 6

Well, it didn't quite go how Soonyoung expected.

He expected Jihoon to walk out on him right away. He expected that it would be the end of everything between them and for them to never talk again. That Jihoon would specifically _demand_ to never talk to him again and suggest that they block each other's numbers. But then he sat there in silence, keeping his hands on his lap and his eyes on Soonyoung's face. His eyes were neither encouraging nor disappointed, and that made Soonyoung's skin prickle with nervousness.

Only an idiot would have pushed their luck further. So, of course, Soonyoung kissed him again. Jihoon kissed him back.

It was gentle and soft. Intimate. Loving. Jihoon's lips parted slightly and invited Soonyoung to push his luck that little bit more. It was as if someone had taken a boot to his head, though, as he immediately felt the pressure starting to build up in his skull as he tried to figure out how he was supposed to accept that he was kissing _Jihoon_ of all people.

When he failed to give an adequate response, Jihoon pulled away from the kiss. This time, his expression was demanding, although there was no hint of desperation. Somewhat disappointing, as far as Soonyoung was concerned, but he guessed that he had brought it on himself. "What do you want from this?" he asked. But Soonyoung didn't really know. He hadn't exactly thought that far, but he guessed that he would have to make that decision pretty quickly if he wanted to keep his friend interested. He watched how Jihoon's eyes glossed over his body briefly, but the bottom line was that one second of checking someone out felt as if it was around ten seconds. Soonyoung noticed it. He felt self-conscious. He knew exactly where Jihoon's eyes had hesitated, even though Jihoon would have sworn his stare had lasted as long as a blink.

"I don't have sex with boys like this," Jihoon said finally. His voice was neither firm nor soft. Just neutral. As usual. "But I think on this occasion, I can make an exception. If you wanted to go for it, of course." They both knew the answer to that question. It was obvious from the moment that Jihoon's foot had started creeping up his legs at the barbecue. They had made the decision together - it just hadn't been said.  
"Why?" Soonyoung asked anyway. He felt a smile starting to form on his lips. The answer was clear, as far as he was concerned. They wanted each other and the only things that had gotten in the way were Seokmin and his exams. And now that the texts were finished and Seokmin wasn't exactly in the picture, it provided good opportunity for them to take that step. Or so, he thought.  
"I'm horny and I haven't gotten laid in a really long time."

"That's it?" Soonyoung tried to hide the disappointment in his voice when he said it. He knew Jihoon well enough to know that he didn't always mean things how they came out, but he had to admit, it did sting to hear it like that.  
"Well, you're going to get back with your ex-boyfriend, aren't you?" Jihoon asked. Again, no hints that he was trying to be funny about it. That much was tearing Soonyoung apart.

He figured that the best way forward was to just go for it and not ask any further questions. The last thing he wanted was to end up feeling sorry for himself and ultimately losing out on the opportunity to take Jihoon to bed.

So he jumped straight in and pushed Jihoon down. The clothes that he'd given him were taken off too carefully, which earnt him a warning glare after a moment, but Jihoon relaxed again when his lips met pale skin. It was a surprise that Jihoon was that pale, honestly. Not that he had a huge problem with it, but he was used to the tones of Seungcheol and Seokmin's skin, so it came as a surprise. Of course, he chose not to bring it up, as not to risk causing any hurt or upset, and instead moved straight up towards his nipples.

They were pink, Soonyoung noted, and they responded well to his tongue. Jihoon, on the other hand, simply breathed in deeper as he felt Soonyoung beginning to lick and bite at his chest. Soonyoung monitored his expression carefully, seeing if he could do anything in particular to make Jihoon respond more clearly, but his friend remained just as quiet whether he was gentle or rough. So Soonyoung went to move away, figuring that it was a bad move, but Jihoon quickly grabbed his hair and pulled it back down. "Not yet. Keep going." A simple instruction with no room to argue. So Soonyoung continued for a few minutes longer until the grip on his hair started to slack, at which point he continued downwards. Between Jihoon's ribs, towards his navel - although when his friend jolted, he quickly chose not to stop there - and then down further.

And then he did stop. And he waited in silence, glancing between Jihoon's eyes and everything between his legs as he tried to make a split-second decision about his next steps. Of course, he was too slow though, and Jihoon's eye slowly cracked open. "What's your problem?" he asked, perhaps a bit too firmly. Soonyoung bit his lip.  
"Uh, I don't know what to do next," he admitted. Jihoon's eye closed again as he rested his head on the pillow. It was pretty likely that he rolled his eyes, but that much couldn't really be proved.  
"Have you never gone down on a guy before?" he asked - this time, much softer. Again, Soonyoung hesitated.

"I mean, I have. But how are we doing this?"  
"What do you _mean_ 'how are we doing this'?"  
"Like, who's on top?"

Soonyoung didn't recognise his own voice. It sounded as if there was a child speaking for him - as if his body wasn't producing the noise he wanted to make, and so another host was saying the words that were in his voice. He sounded _scared_. Jihoon noticed that much too, as he immediately sat up and leant back slightly against his hands. "I don't care either way," he breathed.  
"I've never been on top before," Soonyoung admitted, this time his voice even smaller. "But I think I'd like to try it." Jihoon gave a nod of approval and mumbled something about it being up to him to do whatever he was most comfortable with, before slowly lying back down again. "But _also,_ I don't know how to eat ass."

Jihoon's eyes shot open again, and he was bolt upright again in a second flat. "What?"

"I mean, isn't that what you're supposed to do? In foreplay? If you're on top? I can't really suck you, can I?" Jihoon's eyebrows furrowed as he let out out an exasperated sigh.  
"Who taught you that? It's pretty dirty, don't you think?" Soonyoung stuttered out a completely incoherent answer, feeling the embarrassment swallow him instantly. It was true, he supposed. Especially if Jihoon hadn't just taken a shower - which obviously, he hadn't, since he was at work before they went out together. "What I mean," he continued quickly, apparently realising the damage that he'd done, "Is that I'd really, really recommend keeping that between you and someone you've been seeing for a good amount of time, you know. You don't know what sorts of things people might have down there and the last thing you want is to get sick because someone's not clean. And I don't just mean not showering. I mean, people who haven't been using protection, too."

Before he had the chance to get even more embarrassed by it, though, Jihoon suggested an alternative idea. And admittedly, it _did_ make Soonyoung feel a lot better. It had them both lying on their sides as they toyed with each other at the same time. Soonyoung hadn't really thought of it as a thing for two guys - as it seemed a lot easier for heterosexual couples, but he actually found that having Jihoon in his mouth was a much more comfortable option than the one that he had presented. It was something that he was well-versed in doing, and he was especially happy to find that whilst Jihoon was still quiet, he was giving many more physical responses, such as bucking his hips and swallowing around him hard whenever Soonyoung did something that usually worked to push his partners' buttons.

But it was over before it had fully started. Of course, Soonyoung was close to the edge pretty quickly. Anyone would have been if they were having one of their first experiences receiving oral sex like that. It was pretty normal to finish quickly in that case, he thought, and so it wasn't as embarrassing as it could have been. But Jihoon could sense that he was getting there from the slight twitches and spasms of his thighs as he bucked his hips forward, and so he had quickly put a stop to it and had firmly announced that they would be getting onto the main event.

As disappointing as it was to not finish, Soonyoung had to admit that he was most excited about that part. He watched as Jihoon turned over onto his front and lifted his hips up to expose himself, and he was genuinely surprised that his climax hadn't hit there and then. He couldn't help it. Jihoon's cheek was pressed down hard onto the pillow - which he had folded in half to support himself - and his legs were spread further than Jihoon thought was possible for a guy of his size. Both of his shoulders were supporting his body, which looked somewhat uncomfortable as his hips were up so high that he had a crease around his mid-back. But then, his hands were all the way back, spreading himself slightly, and _that_ was the one sight that drove Soonyoung completely wild.

 _That_ was a complete novelty. He'd seen that sort of sight in porn videos, but never in real life. And seeing someone he respected and admired that much lying there for him, spread and ready to go, was something that left his heart racing in his throat. It was, admittedly, breathtaking.

"Put it in already," Jihoon demanded, snapping him away from his thoughts. "I don't care whether you use a condom or not. Just hurry up and stop staring at me like that." A relief, frankly. Soonyoung didn't really have any condoms around his room for a few different reasons. He sought out his favourite lubricant, though, and quickly applied some before adjusting himself into a comfortable position. Then Soonyoung slowly pushed his hips forward, feeling the instant sensation of warmth pulsing through his body as soon as they joined. It was amazing, and it was exactly what he needed to feel. It was almost enough for him to finish on the spot again, although he swore he was going to try to hold on for a bit longer.

It took every bit of strength he had not to lose it, though. Every single last ounce. Jihoon _moaned_ for the first time, and he immediately snapped his hips back so that their bodies met, and then he began to tighten around Soonyoung's body. The way he looked was perfect and Soonyoung wanted nothing more than to destroy him. Suddenly, moving again was the hardest thing he could have ever done. He gripped Jihoon's pelvis tighter and slowly pulled out, but as he went to push back in slowly, Jihoon snapped back against him again and send a tingling wave of ecstacy through his body again.

That was that. Unless Jihoon said that it was hurting or something, Soonyoung absolutely wasn't going to be holding back. So he began to pound into his friend mercilessly, watching as his already pale knuckles grew white once he had a grip of the bedsheets. But Jihoon continued to respond well. He bit down into the pillow and continued to slam his hips back to meet Soonyoung every time he began to push back in. It was slightly off pace but he was consistent, at least. And every time they met, it felt as if there was electricity running up and down Soonyoung's spine, making him crave for more touches - more skin contact, more pleasure, more of Jihoon's body.

So he demanded that Jihoon flip over and face him. His friend initially protested - telling him that he didn't do that with friends - but Soonyoung was firm about it and so it ended up happening. Jihoon sprawled out on his back whilst Soonyoung continued to slam into him as hard and fast as he could manage. His stamina wasn't quite holding up as well as he had hoped by that point, despite it only being a few minutes after they had started, but he guessed that it was okay, seeing as Jihoon was already sweating hard and their chests were sticking together every time they touched.

But then, of course, he finished too early inside of Jihoon and his friend's eyes shot open as he realised that there was no warning at all. Soonyoung panicked.

It led to him fumbling to continue pleasuring his friend by stroking him hard and fast, but Jihoon wasn't exactly feeling it from what he could see. Instead, he was insistent that Soonyoung pulled out and sat properly on the bed. Soonyoung had to admit, he was pretty terrified by how strict his friend was being about it and a million thoughts ran through his mind about whether or not they had agreed that finishing inside was appropriate, but his thoughts were pushed right to one side as soon as Jihoon was inside his mouth.

And sure, it wasn't what he expected, but Soonyoung knew how to use his mouth and he knew how to make Jihoon finish in a few minutes flat. He groped and stroked along with every suck; took sensitive skin into his mouth and gently tuggled with his lips, and his friend finished shortly afterwards. Inside him, too, as it was.

Actually the _aftermath_ was something that Soonyoung would never forget, though. Even more than the actual act. And not necessarily for good reasons.

They were in bed together, with the covers pulled up as high as possible. One arm around Jihoon, whilst Jihoon rested his head on his shoulder. And as they cuddled together, Jihoon let out a sigh and pressed his face into the side of Soonyoung's collarbone. "We can never do this again," he whispered, as if he expected that someone was listening to their conversation. Soonyoung felt his heart immediately start to ache in response, although there was nothing that he could really say about that. It was Jihoon's choice and it wasn't really his place to try to convince him otherwise.

Well, sort of. "Why can't you become my boyfriend or something?" he asked quietly. Jihoon looked up into his eyes. There was a hint of pain in that stare, and it really broke Soonyoung's heart to see it.  
"I can't do that. You already said that you're searching for your soulmate from that app. And besides, you found him, didn't you? That boyfriend who texted you today?"  
"You had the same quote on my phone so maybe you should get the app just to check. And then you can delete it or something. I don't know. But it shouldn't have to be about the stupid app."

"But you're getting back with that ex-boyfriend, right? You've confirmed that he's your soulmate."  
"Not exactly. I--"  
"What do you mean, not exactly? Your whole face lit up when you got the text from him. I think you love him more than you care to admit, and you were really excited about the thought of getting back with him." Soonyoung swallowed. Jihoon propped himself up on his elbow. "I don't mean for it to sound nasty, but you need to make a choice and you already have him, so you're more than welcome to get back with him. Besides..."

At that point, he trailed off and wouldn't continue, no matter how much Soonyoung wanted him to do so. He had made up his mind already, though. They weren't going to be a couple and that was that. All over that stupid app. Soonyoung had to admit, he wished he'd never gotten it at times like that. He knew that it had helped him to find two amazing boyfriends, but it had turned him greedy and obsessive, and that much was evident from Jihoon's reaction. He had already convinced himself that they weren't supposed to be together, and that was that.

"Soonyoung, are you home?" Soonyoung jumped to attention when he heard the voice call out. He made direct eye contact with Jihoon for a few seconds, and then quickly hopped up, grabbing his clothes as quickly as possible.  
"Yeah, but wait for me downstairs. My friend and I got caught in the rain so we've been sitting in towels while we waited for the clothes to dry."  
"Oh, yeah. I saw that. I can't believe you got caught in that!" his mother called up. "Did you put your friend's clothes in the dryer?"  
"Yeah. Actually, could you bring them up and leave them outside the door, please?"

Soonyoung had to admit, he was incredibly thankful for the fact that his mother wasn't that nosy. If anyone else was home - especially his sister - they would've just walked into his room to see him naked with Jihoon. But his mother did as she was asked and he grabbed the clothes, then gave Jihoon some wipes to clean himself up before he got dressed again. Soonyoung pulled on a simple t-shirt and sweatpants this time, though, and then he grabbed for Jihoon's hand once he was ready to go downstairs. Jihoon immediately tried to pull the hand away but as soon as Soonyoung let go, he sighed and reached over to grab it again. Soonyoung didn't know whether he felt sorry for him and that was why Jihoon grabbed his hand, but he didn't really want to overthink it and make himself feel sad. Besides, when they got to the bottom of the stairs, they parted anyway.

"Oh," his mother said softly as they walked into the kitchen to see her. "I thought 'friend' was a code-word for 'Seokmin'." She turned towards Jihoon and introduced herself, and he immediately introduced himself in turn. "Would you boys like something to eat?"  
"Oh, we just had barbecue, but thank you," Jihoon said. The smile he exchanged with Soonyoung's mother suggested that they had already taken to each other very nicely. It was just a shame that it would be a waste, seeing as how Jihoon probably wouldn't be back at their house.

"How about I take you home, then? I wouldn't want you getting your clothes wet again by walking through the rain." Jihoon rejected the first time to be polite. Soonyoung could tell that much right away. So he insisted, and told him that he needed to go to a specific party supply store near to his house in order to find things for a celebration that he would be holding once all of his friends had finished their exams. It wasn't out of the way, so he shouldn't feel bad about it.

Of course, this time he accepted, and so they took him back to his house. Soonyoung didn't really need to look around the shop, though, and admitted this to his mother once Jihoon was out of the car, so they headed back right away.

It was around a ten to twenty minute drive with rush-hour traffic. That meant that Soonyoung had plenty of time with his thoughts, even as his mother tried to make small talk. He found the message from Seokmin and stared at it for a while, trying to figure out whether he should send something back. It was a silly thing to get hung up over, but he knew that his ex-boyfriend had been waiting for him, even though Soonyoung had been incredibly dramatic about it and taken it as an excuse to start looking at other people.

But there was his problem, in black and white. Even when he'd been _looking_ at other people, he hadn't been touching them until _after_ Seokmin sent him the message to say that they should get back together. And the problem _there_ was that he actually didn't know whether he liked being with Jihoon more because he had developed feelings for him, or whether it was because it was his first time in a long time.

The only thing to do was to be upfront and honest about what he had done.

It was a stupid idea but he had to get it off his mind. So he sent Seokmin the text saying that he had missed him every day and had been starting to give up hope. That he had done something bad but he figured that since they weren't together at the time, it wasn't a big issue. And finally, that he was sorry about it.

"Did you sleep with someone else?" Seokmin replied in record time. "Did they come up on your Love Quote? Do we need to meet up tonight and have a chat about this?" Each question was sent separately and came up in turn. Soonyoung instantly felt disgusting. It was as if there was a worm in his stomach that was squirming and squelching inside his body, and that made him feel sick. It was even difficult for him to distract himself by talking to his mother, which made it feel especially bad.

But he had to reply after he sent something like that, and so Seokmin ended up going to their house that evening for dinner and then went up to Soonyoung's room with him to talk about what had happened. 

Of course, though, he noticed something was up as soon as he entered the room. The door opened and he stood there in silence, taking it in, before slowly entering and sitting on the edge of the bed. "Something's different today," he said softly. "I don't know what it is, though. Maybe the smell." Soonyoung must have tensed up because Seokmin noticed the change in his posture right away. "You did it today, didn't you?" he asked, his voice remaining just as calm as before. "Don't worry, I'm not angry or anything."

Mmm, Soonyoung wasn't so sure about that. And he wasn't ready to take chances. He couldn't admit something like that when they had met up to discuss the problem. Whilst they weren't officially in a relationship at that point, it was still a dangerous game to play, and it wasn't really the sort of territory that Soonyoung wanted to be toeing.

Seokmin repeated the question, firmer. Soonyoung caved right away.

The response was a long, deep breath. "Is he your Love Quote?" he asked, almost immediately. "Can we check, please?" That made him even more nervous. Soonyoung was almost certain that he was going to start crying, but he blinked the tears away quickly as he searched through the phone and opened the app. The short pause whilst it loaded was the most tense moment of his life up until that point, but then the quote appeared on the screen. The same as before, down to the letter.

Seokmin let out a sigh of relief and pressed his face into his hands. "So it was just an affair? Like, you're not in love or anything? You slept together because you were lonely? Not because your Quote changed or anything?" There was something off about the way he said it, Soonyoung noted. Whilst Seokmin _looked_ relieved, his words didn't quite match - they sounded somewhat frantic and desperate. As if he was hiding something else. There was a hint of guilt there too, he figured, although he couldn't quite prove that part. But then again...

"Seokmin, can I see your Quote too?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on making a comeback, I promise. I want to write more. I'm on holiday right now, and I have two weeks left of my development program, which means that I should have extra time soon. And I hope I do because I'm tired all the time recently. But the good thing is, this is here and I'm working on things as time goes on.
> 
> Thank you for sticking around <3


End file.
